Avalon

It's been too long

Monday, September 27, 2004

Ok it has been quite some time (a few days only actually) since I have written something in English, which is a mere irony once again since I just finished the GP paper last friday. I refuse to acknowledge the fact that I did write an essay. It was just depressing to think about. Anyway, I really miss being around my NP friends. It's like well after stepping into a new environment, there were the occasional outings and everything but I just don't have the wholesome feeling anymore. A sad truth of realism.

Anyway I don't know why but these few days I just have this inadvertent surge of recollections and gush of emotions flooding my mind. Those past pictures of my NP batch being punished while holding our push-up positions, the taste of freedom delightfully savoured after having gone through 3 days two nights of torture in ATC (Adventure Training Camp) in Pulau Ubin, especially when it is directly one week after my OBS Camp during Sec 3, the numerous times we go scouting for good food venues after routine trainings or normal school days, the hours we spent going crazy and walking aimlessly around Singapore just to enjoy each other's company, the Lake Kenyir Trip in Sec 2, the long-forgotten rehersals for National Day Parade Combined Choir in Sec 1... All these images just kept reappearing in my head, supposedly clear and sharp but seemingly distant and vague in reality. Reminiscence and remnants of the past. Distorted and mutilated beyond recognition or well-preserved and nicely pieced together? No idea. But all the same they are history. They say it is always these chronicles of the past, which suddenly intercept whatever things that are being shown on the big screen in one's mind, that brings along nostalgia and schmaltz.

Some say it is just a sign of weakness to slosh in the past that we have found so unforgettable because it simply shows a keen alacrity to run away from the present. Emotions are for the decrepit milksops. They would say. Well I can only express my utmost sympathy to their plight for being emotionally handicapped. But at the same time, it is true we should look at what is in front of us. The future that is full of possibilites. Still, sometimes it is from these memories that we derive the drive and re-ignite the passion that has died out after a while, after all there are always times when fire runs out of fuel right...

Envoy of the Stars @ 7:30 AM
-------------------------------