岁月

Sunday, February 20, 2005

我害怕
害怕一睁开眼
看到的不是我熟悉的那张脸
而是另一个异度空间

我故意
故意放下行李
企图让你阻止我的离去
你的笑却是最残忍的告别礼

我傻笑
傻笑在不着边的脑海中寻找渺小
在快要过期的牛奶中加入两粒安眠药
想起妈妈说：“睡一觉就好。”
闭上眼时头发却已老

Envoy of the Stars @ 4:18 PM
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我想对你说

Saturday, February 12, 2005

想是将心拿出来相对照
思是心田深处的交通指标
念是两颗心系在今生的暮暮朝朝

我的她
蓄着披肩长发
羞愧了天边彩霞
走在只为衬托她而存在的夕阳下
哪还会去管那文绉绉的赞美话
她无须回眸一笑偷走了美字的笔划
她随风一站足以构成Mona Lisa的画

废话我当然想她
人
胜
百
花
画
这是童话？
怎么我的皇冠、斗篷、白马和利剑
都那么不听话

只是...
喂
起床了
原来不用巫婆也可将我的梦敲碎

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:46 PM
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Someday I shall find you again

Friday, February 11, 2005

I am finally penning the next chapter of my life, or rather the pen is doing the paper work for me without my consent. Sometimes I feel that I am only writing over the lines that have already been written in my story. Maybe the words are only concealed, written in invisible ink or being erased off. Something like 无字天书. I am just doing some tracing.

Suddenly all the other areas in my life that I have not been paying attention to all this while are launching surprise attacks on me. Hmm have I been neglecting something, or am I just turning a blind eye to it, trying some weak avoiding tactics that have failed.

Went out today with the NP friends, but met one whom I have not seen for so long. Thank you Bang Rui, Isaac, Wei Qiang, Kang Yee and ok Kang Hao (haha wanted to omit his name haha kidding) for today's outing. Too bad there are so few people available today. Ya we should really know that we mustnt 重色轻友, as quoted from Kang Hao. Lol of ALL people. Haha. But really great to know everyone is doing well, not exceptionally academics wise but well, who cares about academics during outings. Hello!! And it's not like we are getting 4 Fs!! We shall get 4 As!!!! Sorry to you guys for a long wait while kang and I shopped for Angel and mortal gifts. Haha actually kang hao was the one taking so long!!! Then Kang and I had to rush off to go to lala's house for dinner and we had to change our plans!! We actually wanted to 捞鱼生 in Chinatown but in then end they had to accomodate to us. Oops. Then Kang and I left them loitering at Sun Plaza while we went up to lalas.

And as usual, the girls are already there doing nothing else but bridge. Oh Vin was there (haha see I never classify u under the girls erpz)so ya we dined, eating steamboat. Er not the pot and bowls, the food. Haha. Oh I was like wearing a shirt with a colour like peach or pink. Haha first time I worn such a coloured shirt. Haiz and then we gossiped as usual but dunno why I got dragged down today. Erpz. Must be Xue Fen haha oops just kidding. Ya so well... then kang and I went down to lala's void deck to join the np gang to lou hei! They got everything ready ya so it was really fun talking lame things and laughing at each other's weird blessings. Ok uncle leon and lala are like pushing me to finish writing. Hello whos the cui chang la! Haha.

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:00 PM
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春，颠倒了

Thursday, February 10, 2005

红包封套更花俏
内容却偷工减料
两张紫纸取代十
火锅热气在我镜片上结成雾
食物的温度也只有肠胃最清楚
滚烫的汤更盛人情
电视的声音最动听
BBQ板上的油渍噼啪作响
筷子铁一般冰凉

鱼翅醋放多一点
我想口味重一点
鲍鱼再次受牵连
变成鱼饼一片片

岁月催人老啊老
闷气赶上跑啊跑
只恨不管迟或早
童年汽水没气了

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:55 PM
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CNY

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The festive mood is supposed to be in the air again, what with the thought of a one-week break from school ahead. But somehow, I think there's no feeling of excitement or exhilaration whatsoever. Probably because of the indirect relationship between the increase in age and the responsiveness to the festive seasons. How sad, but that's the truth. I can't even remember what happened last year during CNY. I guess I really need someone or something to light up my life. Haha ok I am just exaggerating.

Specially prepared CNY cards and ang baos for my angels and mortal. Received a small treasure chest of chocolates from Angel Nut and a letter from my other angel. Turns out that the content of that letter was much sort after. The ironic thing was that it was specifically written at the top of the piece of paper that "Please read this in private." Erpz. So much for privacy. The letter got intercepted so many times!! And then I can still get teased for whatever "incident" they found out through the letter. Haiz. How unfair!!! I strongly protest against the abuse of poor old Ah Gong. Ill treatment of the elderly can land you behind bars. Haha ok shall stop it. It's the new year after all.

Supported the junior class' stall wholeheartedly, both mentally and physically. But it is so hard to reject them, not to mention the many others who come up to me asking me to patronise their stalls. The thing about knowing one more person. Xue Fen said that I just happen to be well-known... I shall take that as a compliment though I don't think I should earn this by burning a hole in my pocket.

Then went out shopping with the girls. It had been a.... wonderful.... experience. Ok seriously, no negative connotations involved. At least they helped me pick a pair of nice, purplish earrings for my angel. Haha hope she likes it. Wow never knew a pair of earrings can cost so much!! Now I know where girls' pocket money go to. All these accessories, clothes, bags and all the stuff they can lay hands on. There is such a stark contrast between how girls and guys spend their money. Tells how mentally developed guys can be. From what I know, guys can spend money buying computer games, playing lan, watching movies, playing pool or simply contributing to the girls' expenditure. Anyway, witnessed how girls go about their average hunting. Really got loads to learn. Prepare for the future. Haha though I will probably find someone who don't really like shopping that much. But a bit of it wont kill so I shall train my patience from now. Lol... clapping my hands now.

After a while, I left to meet with my NP friends for lunch at Mos Burger. Can't believe it when Wei Sheng pointed out that a couple we know was sitting beside our table. I let out a gasp when I stood up to take a look (we were separated by a thin wall) and I have a feeling that that person actually caught my expression. Oops... she must have felt so unlucky to have bumped into us. Then, I went back to look for Jias and Zhi Qi who were eating at Mac. As usual, started a chatting session and found out more inside news about the Taiwan trip. Turned out I missed quite alot of details during the last few days because I fell sick.

Ok it's officially the year of the rooster now. Stay healthy and energetic people!

Envoy of the Stars @ 1:28 AM
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Prelude to CNY

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Things just continue to get more and more out of hand. So helpless at times that I really wish I can learn 分身术。It's like impossible to be in so many places at one time!! Found myself moving to and fro, practically drifting through the air. I guess I am used to walking rather briskly. Ok maybe too quickly. Time suddenly seemed so much more precious to me. But luckily another week is over. I am caught in this web of irony because I would love to start the count-down to the end of this year but then, the end would signal the commencement of the dreadful parting. Ok shall stop getting my mind clouded with these thoughts. Should make the best out of this year.

Started to think of the questions that I have been shelving aside all these years. What will I become in about 5-10 years' time? (used to be "what aspiration/ambition do you have?" and we had to write compositions.) What the next phase in my life will be like? I still can't believe I am turning 18 in a couple of months'time. 好老哦！And my environment is constantly reminding me that I am not young anymore. My niece has just been enrolled to primary school this year. It's like just yesterday when I heard her wailing and howling when she was three months old.

Anyway, I didn't know why but I actually found myself utterly uncontrollable. Sometimes my mind is clearly disseminating the message that I should just keep my temper down before it flares up. But somehow I don't react accordingly. Must be psycho-motor problem. But then the anger and everything is subdued rather forcefully but not entirely so in the end, it just left me expressionless and somewhat cold. Some people told me that I looked so scary when I don't talk or smile!! Hello I am not Sylvester!! Not the first time I got such feedback though. First impresson really matters so much. Now I have to "be myself" all the time. Ya well ok I am a very outgoing person but you must understand that Geminis have got a character with a complicated personality. So the quiet side of me sets in sometime. I call it the "screen-saver" mode where I will act as though I am in twilight zone. 神游太虚. Haha.

I think Friday was the busiest day of the week. Was like rushing, rushing, rushing all day. Then after Huang Cheng went to eat at KAP with the admin, actors and emcess. Oh ya Ammily and Cailing made a guest appearance and then saw Meixin and Qi Fan on the bus ride to KAP. They are like so suay!!! Big-time 被发现. Zhe Han went up the bus first so they waved and thought he was the only person, only to find out that the rest of us were right behind him. You can imagine their looks of surprise. Haha but then this is no secret anymore so just an interesting incident. Oh then while we were eating, we started another bitching session... Why do we share a common topic!! And it was like the emcees were listening intently. 教坏小孩! Then while we at it, the actors were like doing dares... So "innocent", just like us. When we commented that they were so 天真无邪, I said that actually we were like this too last year. Just that the polish had worn off. We left before the actors, leaving the emcees Justin and Michelle (the young ones) to join them.

Had Senior and Junior outing today finally. After more than two weeks of confirmation and coordination. Must thank Feng Yi (our class CT rep) and Chao Hsiang from junior class. We ate at Fish and Co in the glasshouse and celebrated Jing Yi's birthday. Haha as expected, the whole restaurant were looking at us when we sang the bday song. So AA... then we took photos outside. Can't believe it that we are the seniors now!!! Remembered going there with A13 seniors last year!!! Wow. After that we went shopping. Yi Meng bought two pairs of nice earrings placed in a nice-looking box for his angel, who also happened to be mine. He spent about $18!!! 破坏行情! Now what am I going to get her??? Argh!!! And then he was giving his broad grin when he showed me the box. I thought it was for... but he laughed it off (as usual) and told us jokingly that he would spend less on "her" present. Made me sooo confused. He probably had his own logic behind that.


Envoy of the Stars @ 10:23 PM
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讲你知

Thursday, February 03, 2005

鸟话
飞禽公园里的叽喳
软化
所有听者的心提起来又放下
放下后沉重到脚软发麻
走兽自然夹着尾巴
连滚带爬
嘎嘎嘎
吐出舌头时记得把
忍让一并拉出
对不起
太长太久
已在肠胃生石
请继续哭
免费纸巾的钱却必须先付

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:13 PM
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安可

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

凌晨时分
我带着另一个多余的身份
私奔
后面是追兵的滚滚沙尘
真狠
我挤出一丝笑容扮天真
路上积水里的那个人连拍掌也不肯
可恨
疲累已如毒素流入脚根
地上的鲜红越来越深
我发现我流血了
无奈这里没电灯
我只顾嘶声
忘了呐喊
而就在这时
一粒没有生命的子弹
插入我另一半的心脏
狂奔
枪口上的烟冉冉上升
我拿出短刀想往脖子上
“CUT———”
好大声
导演在这场地就是神
“独角戏都能演得像伪装秀那么逼真。
你有没有精神分裂症。”
冷。
留下我在那里
番茄汁还在一点一点地往下滴着。

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:38 PM
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