“咬”

Friday, September 30, 2005

刀还没有开口
却已经割破了
我的手指头

我却依然继续
磨阿磨

在银色冷光下
尽情地把两条生命
染红

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:09 PM
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Sunday, September 25, 2005

Haven and Heaven

I see my place in the E that lies between.

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:38 PM
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矛盾

Friday, September 23, 2005

因为我想运动，又害怕暴毙
因为我想去公园，又有骨痛热症
因为我想打篮球，却不能够灌蓝
因为我想吃鸡饭，香港又发现禽流感
因为我想看新闻，又有分尸案

所以
我就这样想下去。

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:41 PM
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怎么活

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

这世界好像没有好过
在你happy的周末
非洲的难民却没处躲
恐怖分子等着将我们活捉

林肯总统、特丽莎修女、孙中山先生
炮弹怎么越来越多
橄榄枝被拗断
白鸽关在笼子里连叫声都没有

从前的血海到今天的战火
地球开始月经吐白沫
我们的医生再多
不也只能看着

以自由来掠夺
让平等背黑锅
爸爸妈妈请你教教我
如何拿良心生活？

原谅我原谅我原谅我...

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:50 AM
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2359

Thursday, September 15, 2005

吴庆康出了一系列的书籍，名《2359》，星期一被折磨两次后，突然很像逛书店，居然就傻傻站着，背着那装满一堆再过一个月就等同于“废纸”的沉甸甸的“包袱”。

注：笔者非不好读书之人。真的，我很喜欢读书的。真的。

就这样不知不觉，时间总是特别容易在你看不到时逃走，而当天我没戴手表。所以，经看了半个小时。突然很喜欢吴庆康的文字。幽默、一针见血、总会让你会心一笑而又没有一些大宗匠那种故意卖弄文采的晦涩。深入浅出， 很合我胃口。

带一点叛逆，不温不火的适当讽刺，真的是有麻点，拳拳到肉。

最近Blog好像被攻击的蛮残的。一下子有人为了出名而在网上post裸照（也不懂是犯贱还是想拍A片，或许两者都是吧），听说还有人找来拍广告。哇！看到新闻报道时，我突然想：不懂会不会突然有人蠢蠢欲动，向她看齐。Seriously有时候想，真的有人这么无聊，到处查人blog只为了挖宝寻裸照？干脆yahoo search，quality更好的不是更多？真是让人不解。现在想出名的人太多了。有时人都不管出的是臭名还是芳名，出名就好。所以就有“绝对SuperStar”等等。Oops, 说错话会被控告的。

还好我一向是奉公守法，爱好和平的好市民。无种族歧视，无宗教之分，更不会反对政府。所以，我拼命谴责那两个因为“Sedition” （我觉得他们都不知道什么是Sedition就被抓，满可怜的）而“出名”的人。See, 出名可以有很多方法的。对于你平淡的人生感到乏味？建议你这样做... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX，明晚晚报报上头版。

哦

亲爱的读者

对不起

以上片断遭删减。

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:15 PM
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了结我

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

你说你了解我
有多了解？
多少为多？
多少为少？

我喜欢黑夜还是白天？
我喜欢阳光还是雨点？
我喜欢孤独还是热闹？
我是寡言还是多话？
你口中的我
让我
很陌生
好像哪里见过

面具人人有
你又懂我有几副？
何时我戴着、卸下

Everything is
based on assumption

幕落了
我脸上还有一层厚厚的妆粉
伴着掌声
渗透我每一个毛孔
暗角中却传来深深的呼吸

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:26 PM
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Monday, September 12, 2005

考试
变态的家伙，喜欢就把玩你，看你紧张的样子，爽了就给你兴奋剂，让你“high”一番后醒来时又空虚又痛苦，不高兴就把你奸了，让你又累又麻木，只能回家自慰（自我安慰）。

考场
嗅吸多一点此地的灵气，保管促进你的星辰代谢，肯定有机会到板桥作义工。

Envoy of the Stars @ 5:16 PM
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Sunday, September 04, 2005

一醒双秋梦
不识眼前人

One year ago, what was I doing? One year later, am I doing the same thing? But why do I not recognise any of my doings. My handwriting, my appearance, my personality, me. Once in a while, you need someone to remind you how much you have changed.

Went back last tuesday to look up my CHS teachers. You will ask: Why tuesday, not wednesday? Because I find it useless to join the queue on thursday(which is of cos the official Teacher's Day Eve aka "the-whole-world-suddenly-feel-like-revisiting-their-alma-mata-day") just to talk to my teachers. And then of cos, one of my chinese teacher who happens to be one of the few teachers who remember my friends and I and whose presence is one of the few reasons I choose to return in the first place, doesn't really like crowded occasions. Still remembered how we nearly saw an empty table when we went back on CNY this year and TD last year because she slipped away immediately after celebrations. Sometimes, I really feel it's all abit like putting on a show. You smile. You say "hi". Say "how have you been" while keeping the broad smile and making sure it doesn't become a smirk. Then when the time is right you say "bye" and of cos the unforgotten message which explains your objective behind your visit in the first place: a chorus of "Happy Teacher's Day". (only if you are not going alone or your timing with your friends' is just on cue.) I can't help but feel quite sad. I try to tell myself "Hey, everyone means well. The fact that you come back shows you care, at the very least." And it's for this lucky existence of such an unsullied clearing in my heart unpolluted by my cynicism which I am thankful for. It allowed me to disregard all those negative comments lingering in my mind. Although sometimes you must really hand it to some people who return like some victorious soldier ready to receive the "Medal of Honour", strutting with an air of hypocrisy and wearing a false, plastic smile, walking about with "Oh Ms XX/Mr YY I miss you so much"... Ah well probably it's their way of conveying their heartfelt gratitude. But doesn't make it any less irksome. But I know I must remind myself the motive of going back. (Ok maybe "motive" sounds too rational for such a sentimental occasion) It's more of a show of concern for people who have helped to move you on during your past stages of life, (academic wise at least) and of cos to show them you are living fine. (If they care or if they remember you, that is) I personally think it's quite important that you are sure that teacher remembers you before approaching him/her. Like during Tuesday my friend said "Hey go see Ms Wong leh. Haven't really visited her for quite long. (I was like "But we haven't even talked to her since sec 2") Still, I guessed it was polite to do so, though I have to admit it was a slight moment of chagrin when she couldn't recall who I am. (or "was" to her) I thought it was "good" in a way that she doesnt remember who I am cos I was really bad at maths during sec 2. But I could see her struggling to recall but I could only smile, though I managed to add in here and there during the conversation, which turned out to be quite long... This time we didn't bring any card, flower or anything, but we brought our hearts. One that is not filled with thoughts of going out with sec 4 class for outing, or of getting to meet sec 4 classmates who have gone on separate paths. No. This time it was just to know how they are doing. But I must admit a part of me was yearning to return to the school grounds I have spent 4 years discovering and rediscovering, walking up and running down. I cant help but chide myself knowing how near CHS is to HC but yet so far away, (in culture, ideology and of cos peer company) so much so it's almost ironic that we can find ourselves giving excuses that we are busy or that our teachers would not want to see us so often just to console ourselves for not making the extra effort to go back once in a while (not a year or well not biannually or even never for some) So after finishing our talk with the teachers, we went back to our tower block classroom. I realised I forgotten the tables are brown. Dark brown. But I still know how to use the visualisers, the projectors, the computers. We just sat there talking and taking in the air-conditioned supply of air. How ever did those times pass without me realising?

Then of cos, there's MAF next week. Really want to go as a member of the crowd, after being emcee for last year's MAF. Someone reminded me it will be our last school event, besides Prom. Hmm.... At least there will be alot of people there. I still remember how "high" everyone was, the only time we danced mass dance since orientation campfire.

Maybe, just maybe,
蓦然回首，那人却在，灯火阑珊处。

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:30 PM
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