Avalon

@valon 咖啡馆

Sunday, August 29, 2010

进来这间餐厅时，加上我这桌也只有两桌客人，除了侍应生点菜的声音也就剩下黄昏的宁静。然后，渐渐地黄昏远去，餐厅里却开始沸腾。不发一语的我散发的沉默和周遭的热闹也就互相吞噬，慢慢的，沉默退到了餐厅外的角落。

隔壁坐着一桌英国人，两个中年男人和两个青年，边享用着晚餐边闲聊着，操着如同男人所喝的啤酒一样浓烈的英国口音。我则是一个人，坐在餐厅倚着窗棂的角落，直到吃饱后才发现，整间餐厅好像只有我是一个人座。环视餐厅，除了那桌英国人，还坐着一对坐下就只不停喝酒的情侣、两个自从一坐下就不断说话，连停顿呼吸的间隙都没有的女人，和刚刚被侍应生招待入座的年轻情侣。

悠扬轻盈的钢琴声这时响起，很快地就充斥着整间餐厅，如一股暖流般流畅的琴韵像是要把餐厅这片疆土上的各个部落串连起来一样。钢琴师似乎很中意迪士尼歌曲，开头一曲"Wish upon a star"，不久就是一曲"Beyond the sea"。

这时我才发现，我的部落，只有我。从几何时，一个人就变成了习惯，然后就超越了习惯的范围，变“不见”了，就像是心跳一样，一直都是不经察觉的，直到突然想到，注意力才又被集中在这一点上。眼前餐桌上的蜡烛在较早前被侍应生点燃了，就在吃完晚餐，啜饮餐后咖啡的时候。在餐厅的灯光下孤立却很坚定，时有晃动，但大多时候是纹风不动。

后来，我在最后的琴音落下时把最后一口咖啡一饮而尽，结了帐、站起身来准备离去，烛火依然纹风不动。

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:32 AM
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Evan in Rotterdam: 第一个清晨

光透进来，把梦拆开
在不一样地方醒过来
眼睁不开
还不想睁开

拨开刘海, 撇开乱猜
有什么想要说明白
说不出来
感觉走太快

风不见来，
明明窗帘在角落摇摆
我的发呆，天边云彩
这拼图构成了现在

Envoy of the Stars @ 1:24 AM
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Hard to say when you love

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Raindrops were pattering upon the weatherbeaten cobblestone pavements when Ish and I got to the Powder Tower. We hastened our footsteps, the dark visage looming ever nearer with every step. That was the meeting place, and it sure took us a while allowing our eyes to rove about until we made out Somali and Agnelo amidst the throngs of passers-by hurrying past. They were waving to us, Sonali all huddled up in a hooded pullover, Agnelo with his hands wrapped around his trunk, clad in a Ralph Lauren jacket.

We exchanged brief greetings before moving towards the nearest shelter in sight, the shopping centre just a few steps away. It was then I told Agnelo how surprised I was that he could join the three of us for dinner. "I postponed my boat cruise to tomorrow." He said, his eyes gleaming, "The rain was so bad today and when I went back to my hotel, Sonali rang me up. It was all in good time." I smiled in reply, shoving the umbrella I was holding to his side.

"No no, don't get yourself wet." He patted my shoulders, where a few raindrops had accumulated on my jacket.

It did not take long to decide on a place to have dinner. The Indian restaurant on the top floor of the shopping mall seemed to be just there, all inviting.

"I can't believe we are here in Prague getting Indian food." Sonali exclaimed.

"Well, I am sure it will not be Indian food, but European Indian food." Ish supplemented.

"We were shown our table, and eventually the three Indians calmly scrutinised the menu, filling me in with what each dish contains and subsequently deliberating over what to order.

"I think I will get a drink. Maybe a glass of Johnnie Walker." Agnelo announced. He had told me to call him Agnelo instead of "sir" or "uncle" some time before, while giving me the same pat on the shoulder as a form of added reassurance.

"I will get a cocktail." Sonali said.

"Me too." Ish joined in.

"Just coffee for me."

Dinner proceeded thereafter, each of us talked about what we have done during our travels so far, and our plans for tomorrow. In the midst of it, Agnelo was talking about his interest in ball-room dancing, and how his wife just could not dance at all.

"You know, Agnelo actually has this list of 1000 things-to-do list." Sonali looked up from her vegetarian dish.

"No way."

I took a glance at Agnelo. The man was munching on a slice of butter chicken, a placid look on his face. When he was done he said, "Well, I read this book about the 1000 things to do before you die, you see."

"He's at the 500 mark." Sonali chirped, eyes darting from side to side.

"Amazing." I said.

Agnelo scratched his head, pushing back the tufts of grey and white as he spoke. "It's not exactly 500 places but things, rather. I will consider this event as one thing, for example."

"To the next 500 things then." Sonali lifted her glass.

"To us all, for having met each other here." Agnelo quickly joined in.

We brought our glasses together, feeling how strangely the glasses clinked, just like how we collided into each other. Four separate individuals travelling on their own.

"Why do you travel alone?" I was curious.

"For that I have a perfect answer. You see, I have been working hard for most of my life, supporting my family and all, such that I rarely get the chance to enjoy. I have brought my family to most parts of the world and I have been travelling with my wife for quite some time now. But you know, my wife loves to shop, and I don't, so it is not easy. What I want to see, she probably doesn't. So when I went to see my doctor for my regular checkup, he asked me what I want to do now. I said I would want to travel more, see the world, and told him of my situation. 'Why don't you go alone?' He asked me, and I thought, yeah, why not? So here I am."

He noticed that we were all paying close attention by now, and took a sip from his glass before continuing, "My wife figured she could just spent the money set aside for travelling on her purchases, so all worked out well."

"Good to have worked it out this way." Ish said. Sonali and I nodded.

"Well, me and my wife, we came a long way."

"Oh, tell us."

He took another sip from his glass, contemplating, but remained silent for a while. "That's just another story. I could write a book."

"Oh come on, tell us!"

He thought for a while. "Just a little bit then."

"My wife and I went through alot. Back then when we met, I fell in love with her, but I was a Catholic and she was an orthodox Hindi. Her family forbid us to get together. so the third day after I met her, we eloped." He related everything in a matter-of-fact tone.

"You eloped with her?"

"Yes, we decided to elope together, but her family caught up with us, almost ready to kill me. They sent her away, all the way to Bombay. They threatened me, they did. Told me to stay away from her and not to go looking for her."

"It must have been difficult." Ish remarked.

"I was going to find her, absolutely. But her father, my father-in-law, he sent a gang leader to get at me. Now I knew this gang leader, he married for love as well. He had the same experience, in an inter-class marriage. So I told him, 'Are you going to hurt me, knowing that I am in the same situation as you?' And he said, 'No, of course not.' He let me off, and I went to my uncle, who helped me seek protection with a higher up at the time. That powerful man wrote a letter to her family. 'As long as you touch one strand of hair on this boy, you and your family will have to answer.'"

We sat there in mild bewilderment, occasionally eyeing each other, without muttering a word.

"Ok now, let's go!" Agnelo got up with a start, making a gesture for the bill.

When we had walked out of the restaurant, someone exclaimed. "Tell us more!"

Agnelo tried to hurry us to walk on, but quickly gave in. With a look of quiet resignation, he opened up his palms and said, "Well, after that, we got married. My father-in-law, he eventually came to respect me, because I started from nothing, and gradually went up to where I am now. In fact, when he was older, he actually came to me for advice at times. He really grew to like me."

"That's so inspiring. You should get it published." I said.

"It will be a best-seller, yeah?" He replied, a glint in his eyes.

"That's a great story." Sonali concluded.

"That's great love." Ish added.

"I guess ball-room dancing probably doesn't matter that much after all right?" I concluded, jokingly.

Agnelo lowered his head, his hands tucked into his shirt pockets. "Yes, I guess so."

"When will it be your turn, then?" He turned to me, a cunning spark lighting up his face.

"Well, I will see." I shrugged. "It's hard to say, when you love."

Envoy of the Stars @ 4:21 PM
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@valon 快用筷

Saturday, August 21, 2010

在维也纳的街道上步行了一天，饱览美景后又到了觅食的时间。旅者，本就是走到哪里，吃到哪里的。问题是有时面对着比萨、 kebab，明明知道出国在外就要入乡随俗，一切从简，但还是会对较熟悉的食物有所渴望。刚好经过一家卖亚洲食物的小店。这类打着售卖“亚洲食物”、或“华人食品”的店铺在许多欧洲城市可说俯拾即是。当然，这里的亚洲食物，多是洋人眼中的亚洲食物，不外面条、炒饭、杂菜、咖喱、粥品、寿司等，而这类食物除了在餐馆找得到，也和他们的速食文化融合在一块。

当下就决定吃中餐，反正这类速食中餐价钱方面也算合理，而且至少比较有饱足感。捧着热腾腾的餐盒，我在装有餐具的篮子里很自然地挑了双即用即丢的筷子，只觉握起来格外顺手灵巧。吃中餐果然要用筷子。看看周围的老外，多数还是用塑胶叉和汤匙用餐，我才发现原来手中筷变成了一种标志。一种东亚人用餐文化的标志。在西方国家要找用餐地点只需盯紧以下的标志，

但尽管对这个国际标志的象征心知肚明，心中还是难免认为动刀动叉感觉更像是出去打猎而不是用餐。有时吃西餐时还是觉得很麻烦，餐具那么多，不知不觉就会想用筷子。对我而言，吃起来比较简便利落、轻盈灵巧，就连吃饭我也喜欢单用筷子扒饭。以往筷子叫“著”，意即助吃饭的工具，如此说来，还真是顺其自然。

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:14 PM
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@valon The Big "M"

Monday, August 16, 2010

Map
They come in different scales, different complexities, different colour combinations, different sizes... But without one you will forever roam the built up world like a lost soul. While I admit I might not be as good a navigator as my contemporaries, I guess maps are the first thing I instinctively ask for whenever I get to a new place, and it is strange but I actually come to form this emotional bond with these maps. Relationships never work on trust more than ever with maps. You got to trust the directions that they are giving you, and trust yourself to make the decision to interpret what they have to tell carefully.

Museums
Where could the average country flaunt its exhibitionist self more flambouyantly than the mere creation of a place or in most cases, places, to house its priced possessions, be it collected, amassed, excavated, or plundered. Half of my time was spent pouring over tonnes of historical relics, statues, artwork, whatever you have there. And I can't help wondering, sometimes it is true that less is more. If the average person puts just one of those numerous paintings from say, the Musuem of Fine Arts in Vienna, in his house, every visitor probably will go awestruck and spend at least 5 minutes admiring and gawking at it. (or most of the time, try to act like they are) But when they are all clamoured together in one place, there's just a massive overload of sensory information that one's attention cannot be directed to, or don't want to be. The end result is you probably start to jump paintings, then the halls displaying the paintings, then the whole museum all together. (There are just too many, and everyone of them is bigger than any museum we have..) Or maybe I am really just a philistine attempting at self-defense.

Moon
They say the moon hanging above the foreign land is probably rounder, but I did not bring my compass or protractor.

Music
I came to the conclusion that there are many forms of great music out there, but none as universal as classical.

Maestro
A good thing about this trip is I got reacquainted with the maestros, like Mozart, Dvorak and Strauss. I normally listen to Beethoven and a little of Pachelbel, Bach, Chopin and everyone else, most of the time recognising the tune and not the title, but I only just found out that I have been missing out on life without listening (enough) to Mozart. And although there is no such solid evidence pointing to the existence of the Mozart effect, I can safely say that I don't need any effect to listen to a genius masterpiece.

Mcdon*lds
I use the world-wide synonym for fast food as a gauge of the country's cost of living, and although I realised that its hamburgers are more or less equally priced around the world, the difference is whether I walk right into the shop with big letter M 3 times in 2 days, or 0 in 5.

Money
If a problem can be settled with money, it ain't that big a problem. Unless money is the problem.

Masturbation
Every traveller prowling through unknown territory, seeking joy and leaving nothing behind is, at the most basic level, just undertaking a form of emotional masturbation.

Move
Travelling is part of one's travels. In fact, it is actually the greatest part of it. An English man once had a conversation with an Indian man. "Oh, now that we have a plane, we can get to destination A in one day instead of five, if we were to use the horse carriage." The English man proudly announced. "Ok, that's good. But what are we going to do with the 4 other days?" The Indian man asked.

Reaching a place can feel like a major accomplishment, but like all accomplishments, they fizz out very soon.You reach a destination, good job. Then? What comes after? While we like to say that conclusion is not as important as the process, it is a shame but a well-known fact that we rarely keep to our words. Hence, I made it a point to prove it through my actions. And my constant movement has left me a tired shell but a stronger heart and resolve to continue living the way I live.

Envoy of the Stars @ 5:58 AM
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Evan in Budapest

Budapest was an unexpected gem. The minute I got off from my overnight bus I was aching all over, from the poor sleep I had while trying to find the most comfortable posture on my seat. And as I was trying to get my bearings having alighted from the bus and greeted by a swarm of Hungarian words and reunited strangers hugging each other, I realised that I need to get some Hungarian Frontis as well.

That was the kind of feeling of having plunged headfirst into a foreign world, without foretell or preconceptions, except for my trusty Lonely Planet guidebook, apparently the Bible of every traveller. But I found in Budapest a raw beauty that was really delightful, even though it meant having to wade through the throngs of tourists to enjoy the sights and whatever the place has to provide.

It is weird that I felt hungry in Hungary, but the food was pretty much to my preference, and I pretty much enjoyed my solitary stay there. Had a good chat with an Italian who is a hair stylist that cannot wait to leave the town of Bologna where he is currently staying. We talked about cities, about things people want in life, about belonging. He reckons he is a world citizen, and doesn't want to be too serious with life, having been left to himself at a young age. The kind of person one would start profiling after hearing certain things he says, but there are some thoughts there that I really agreed on. Like his philosophy that one is earning money to do what he wants, although the good thing about his job is it's something he wants, but not everything. This he emphasised, with good reason. For one I wouldn't think of a job as everything in my life. I wouldn't want to. It is just too painful.

Like many other Europeans I met along the way, he was going out with his friends for some drinks (although he was actually holding a beer bottle when we first shook hands) and asked if I would like to join. I was too tired. Ok maybe I was not, but I was not in the mood to drink either, so it more or less ended on that note, two strangers come together, exchanged some casual ideas, had a good laugh, and went on with their lives. Soon this episode will probably decay with time, but those talk, some of it may materalise, some of it may just be residing within the mind, some probably repressed when certain priorities change. The key thing is: I realise that many people are actually hedonists at heart: a few of them will make it big, get access to loads of resources and networks such that they can engage in pleasure-seeking of such opulence and exclusivity; the majority will quietly pursue those little chances of scraping out whatever pleasures in daily life within preset limits; and a few will turn into raving renegades, uncompromising regardless of fear or favour.

I sure as hell wasn't thinking of all these when I was in Budapest..

Envoy of the Stars @ 5:04 AM
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Evan In Prague

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Prague is a magical place, and I went there with the ready mindset to make it the city that I will like the most. And it turned out, self-fullfilling prophecies do work. My trip has hardly ended, but I do think that Prague deserves to be the highlight of the trip.

Apart from the sheer beauty that knocks the wind out of you, Prague has such a vast agglomeration of buildings with different architecture styles to offer there seems to be something waiting to be discovered at every corner. But on top of that, I really loved the place I stayed in. It's an apartment converted hostel located just beside the Vltava river bank, a stone's throw away from the picturesque Charles Bridge which I delighted myself in walking across to and fro. I can't really describe which specific part of the hostel appealed to me so much, but it definitely grew on me as the days went by, and considering I spent a whole 5 days in Prague, one can just imagine the reluctance to leave the place.

The highlight of it all, however, was that I got to meet such great people in Prague, such that I actually didn't feel lonely at all during the period there. Like all encounters, it began with random chat with one person and followup hanging out sessions, after which one introduces another and then the motion starts. But I guess at the end of the day, it boils down to dynamics and that touch of affinity. Travellers have or eventually will develop this gut instinct to sniff out those who share the same frequency as you and depending on the mutual feeling that stems henceforth, there will either come a friendly closure or a potential followup.

In any case, I was glad that a series of unplanned events turned out to be so memorable and enjoyable, that it really made my Prague experience the best I could possibly get, being on my own and all. The chilling-out sessions, seemingly endless conversations that I did not expect to engage in with someone I have known just for a while, discovering more about Prague and ultimately, knowing more about different parts of the world through interactions with others.

Envoy of the Stars @ 8:09 AM
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@valon 身份

Sunday, August 08, 2010

这段期间，和很多来自世界各个角落的人聊天，其中有一个澳洲人竟跟我说他因为和我对话，对新加坡的了解增进了不少。我这才恍然：原来不知不觉中，我竟然说了很多关于自己国家的事，算是作了番免费宣传。

出国在外，难免会提及自己是从何而来。身份变得格外显眼，尤其一个亚洲人混在碧眼黄髯的西方人群中，再怎么不惧他人眼光，也难免显得太过“出众”，要融入终究不易。归根究底，就是身份不同。或许自身特质可能和当地人有些相似，可以是言语、可以是喜好、可以是习惯、可以是想法等等，但单一的特质可以一样，拥有这些特质后却往往发现始终缺少了完整性，就好像装有日本零件的瑞士钟，不可能是日本钟一样。身份是集于一身，给予一身的。要另造一个身份不是不行，只是要被认可和接受，必须是时间的考验，文化栅栏的跨越，也要持有或许会两头不着岸的觉悟。

在机场关卡被问长问短，才发现护照的重要。在陌生国度不知所云的喧哗声中，才发现语言的重要。在日常沟通的无法理解当中，才发现文化差异的重要。

往往这时就会想家。

不想家，因为家似乎每天出现在我生活中：在异地不可或缺的护照、和陌生人谈话的话题、网上朋友的留言、想到八月九日就会想到国庆的自然反应。我想，家就是那个不管在外多么乐不思蜀，多么沉醉于颠沛流离，最后还是会想回的地方，因为自己始终是身处家中的一份子。

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:45 PM
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Evan In Berlin

Friday, August 06, 2010

Berlin is a city with a huge historical baggage. That practically encapsulated my personal opinion of this fantastic city that clearly retained its deep historical imprint in every corner. The shot above is taken at the Holocaust Memorial so if it exudes a feeling that is a tad too emotional or depressive, well, it is supposed to. I especially respect how the Germans unequivocably confront their past and consciously strive to make amends to shoulder the responsibility of past sins, while bearing in mind never to repeat history itself. I don't know if there can ever be forgiveness for a crime so heavy, but I believe in sincerity, one that can change the way the world works, and how people treat each other.

Despite the serious lessons to be drawn in the day, Berlin does have a great night life and the city practically comes to life at night. (then again Berlin seems to be a city that never sleeps) I can hear people drinking heartily from the bars just beneath my hostel before I go to sleep, and after I have woken up the rounds of drinking appear to be still ongoing, with the unmistakably loud cheers and clappings. The people there appear to drink all day long... So much so that I have a pair of British roommates whose second question to me when I met them was "are you German?" Yes I figured they must be drunk, and it was only 3 pm in the day.

3 days hardly do Berlin justice, because there is just so much more to explore there, be it the musuems, the outskirts, or just simply the wandering about soaking up the city's vibes.

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:57 AM
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Vanilla Twilight - Owl City w/ lyrics; Ocean Eyes

Sunday, August 01, 2010

I think this shall be my theme song for this trip. Dedicated to all.

Envoy of the Stars @ 3:02 PM
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@valon 伦敦有感

说是伦敦有感，其实也不全是伦敦。只是伦敦是这些感触的发源地，也就理所当然说是伦敦有感。较具体的，我想稍后整理照片时图文并茂呈现较为理想。
上周的伦敦之行严格说来不太寂寞，因为伦敦有朋友。也因为一个旅英朋友的关系认识了更多的朋友，有趣的是，大多是未来教师，繁杂科目的个中翘楚。得到最多的应该是这层认识。

在异地会友人是个很奇妙的经历。身处一个陌生到无人认识你的地方，和唯一认证你的存在的人说着彼此听得懂，说得惯的话。只是，我和友人自从小学开始好像没真正聊到一点话。这么说或许有点怪，但我想我们有时都忘了其实我们只是在说话，但对说过的话，却从来没留下半点印象。我和友人的谈话就是如此，很淡然，很表面，也从没在外头聚会。这样一想，虽然说是十年（有多没少）之交，但两人相见，我很是害怕之间只剩客套。在第一次去的地铁站下了车，在人来人往中等不到多久，就有人从背后轻拍了我的肩。友人的身影出现在眼前，只是很平常地说了声：“嗨。”就像是和每天都见到的人一样。那瞬间，我觉得我想太多了。但紧接着我的第一感觉是：

友人变了。

我想很多人听到这句话时应该是会感觉到身体瞬间微微一震，像是某个穴位被恰如其分按到，整个人也会竖起耳朵开始听。稍微神经过敏，或太过在意他人眼光的甚至会经历肾上腺素上升，因为别人眼中的变化，大都有好坏两种分类。

友人变了。我静静观察着，边和他不无免俗地从客套的话题开始谈天。我并非觉得眼前的人陌生，虽然他的确让我觉得，他和以前不一样了。这可是历经了十多年之久的“以前”。自从小学开始，他总是跑在人前，其余人多数都在他后面，用走的。这里并非指课业方面，虽然他堪称品学兼优。当年小学当巡查员时（短暂的），也是已经当了半年的他教我怎样绑领带。我似乎总是凝视着他的背影，心想：什么时候，他的身影就会在眼前消失吧？但过后的十多年，他都没在我人生中消失，就像是跑在你前面的跑者，偶然在路的转弯处消失了踪影，但很快地当你绕过路弯，就会发现他依然在视线范围内，尽管和他之间都会保持着适度的距离。常听人说：踏入社会经过现实洗礼的人棱角迟早会被抹平了。在他身上，我不觉得是这样。我只是觉得他变得更真实了。

之后，在友人的陪同下去了剑桥，边在他的带路下四处闲逛，边说着从来没说过的话，关心着从来没关心过的事情。或许，以往我们重叠的地方太多，所以总是聊着“公事”。小学是功课，中学是课外活动，初院是... ...　忘了。我发现：我不曾了解友人。或许应该说，我不曾了解真正的友人，拨开层层附属关系下的友人。也因为这样，我重新认识了友人。

在黄昏将近时，我和友人在一个普通酒吧吃了晚餐，喝了点酒。

"I am just glad I came here."　我说。

"I am just glad I am here."　他说。

两条平行线，前往着似同非同的方向，偶尔会在相交线上有了互相照面的机会。尽管之后又会再互相前进，保持着适度的距离，但当大家都跑得精疲力尽时，也就逐渐看不清彼此的距离了，剩下的是有人和你一块的那份欣慰。

P.S　或许很难以置信，但我居然是在宿舍楼上的酒吧里，在觥筹交错、喧闹劝酒声中写完这篇。

Envoy of the Stars @ 3:59 AM
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