生生诀

Saturday, October 28, 2006

“生命就是这样，可悲的是，它不能重来；但可喜的也是，它不能重来。”

-《童梦奇缘》

它让我想起click。一样的温馨，一样的在探索生命意义，一样的在大声呼吁大众把握时间，珍惜家庭。

发现华仔演得自然，在短短的时间要迅速老化，越演越老，在没多少时间酝酿下，他算是尽力了。算是，感动了我吧。偶像就是偶像。

今天就来“故弄玄虚”，深奥一下。最近与友人交谈，他语出惊人，仿佛杜甫上身不死不休地说出了“空手而来，空手而去”一句偈语。不禁使我又发现了一个半遁空门的知交。所谓半遁而不完全皈依，实属有因也。当今社会，教育水平早已提高，人们丰衣足食，自是大有闲情研究宗学并进行反思之士。人除了饱暖思淫外，稍以追求知识饱满与思想富足为人生目标的自会以追求精神文明自居。但真要得道或顿悟，却有多少人可以做到。而所谓半个佛门中人，即看破红尘，但却看不破红尘中的俗事，譬如美女依然想追，生活依然要过。

其实间中多有对“儒道佛”其中道理的误解。就像道家的“无为”并不是什么都不干的意思。无为的意思很讳涩，宇宙之大，无为可通，无为可制(自己)道可道非常道，是说“道”是可以定义的，但在不同的时期，会因时间、环境、所悟的人的差别而改变。名可名非常名同。这就是说，每个人都有每个人的“道”每个人都能找到自己的道，却不能认为自己的“道”是天下的“道”。

佛家讲的“万法皆空”也不是我们俗世中人的偷懒借口，什么既然一切皆空，就什么都成空就算。而是种空明状态，人生在你眼中就成了“红尘”而红尘中的事则完全可以用“因果”来推断的。六祖有偈：菩提本非树，明镜本非台，本来无一物，何处染尘埃。东晋竺道生主张顿悟，但要大彻大悟，非“因空见色，由色生情，传情入色，自色悟空”不可。没有入世，何来出世。

书至此，想必不少看官自是不知所云，如置五里雾中，对笔者突行此笔有何用意自有推敲。然笔者不过须臾之际，文不醉人人自醉，稍述浅见，贻笑大方。

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:50 PM
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Movie Galore

Friday, October 27, 2006

Been watching quite a number of movies these days, on the scale of about one per day or every two days. So you can tell life is really quite monotonous for me... But I do agree that watching more movies can give you the inspiration you need, if you watch the right ones.

Might as well make this a movie review. Here are the ones I have watched recently:

Prestige
Two magicians start a never-ending struggle to dig out the secret behind each other's greatest magic trick and a rivalry ensued that turns uglier with every act of vengeance committed on each other. Look past the bitterness, hatred and glorifying moments, and you can see the self-sacrificial spirit of two men who have devoted their lives to an art. Some turns in the story can be rather typical and pretty much expected, but there's the underlying morals hidden under all the magic and mystery.

Death Note
Highlighted enough on it so I will just say it is definitely worth the money.

District 13
This is available on VCD now. Mindless action flick, only that it makes most action movies seem like a walk in the part in comparison. Ong-Bak lovers, here are two protagonists who can really match Tony Jaa's "one versus one thousand" feat.

Exiled
Johnny Toh has a knack to make Man's world seem particularly interesting and fascinating. The show starts with a rather modern-day wuxia kind of setting and atmosphere, with two groups of gang members looking up a their old friend at his apartment to settle a score. The atmosphere is steadily built up, and a gunfight breaks out and ends, as abruptly as it has started, with the cries of a baby piercing through the sounds of gunshots. One of them goes "Shall we take a sit and talk?" and the other guy surveys the shabby surroundings and replies "Sit where?" before the scene changes and everyone starts to furnish the apartment and busy themselves making the place hospitable before settling down for a meal. The director's delicate use of black humour and atmosphere transition can be clearly seen.

The way the main leads "play" their way through and "life is like a dream" just comes into the mind. They live by their principles and are constantly putting their loyalties and righteousness to the test. Like the fact that there's not alot of dialogue so theres plenty of space for the actors to do abit of "free-style acting", something that is worth watching. Mesmerising.

Thank you for Smoking
Satirical and quick-witted. Good food for thought.

The Departed
I admit I am biased, so I prefer the original version, since there were Andy Lau and Tony Leung. But the hollywood adaptation doesn't fail to impress either, with Leonardo Di caprio stealing the limelight away.

The King and the Clown
Ok I know I am pretty slow on the uptake but this show proves to offer something other than the focus on homosexual intimacy. It's depiction of the life of a minstrel is also touching at times.

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:20 PM
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聊斋

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

真的觉得咖啡厅已俨然是我的聊斋。以下是一些蛮有趣的对话摘录。

“精力旺盛若不用在正途上，真的是很麻烦的事。精力太旺盛，容易打架生事。精力太旺盛，处处留情，一时疏忽，人口暴涨，会造成人浮于事的现象。”

“做不成中坚分子，至少也能是个中间分子吧。”

“所谓人上人，若缺了个仁，也不过是个骑在别人上的人。”

“年轻是本钱，所以这时对爱情人注重外貌、打扮、浪漫、情调、甜言蜜语等等；到了三十以后，人也老，什么容颜都会枯残，所以情调也会成陈词滥调；浪漫成浪费时间，漫无目的；甜言蜜语就是口蜜腹剑；到最后，不就是谁口袋多金，哪个男人较可靠，够老实，可以托付余生。”

“想得太多时，你就知道你时间太多了。”

Envoy of the Stars @ 12:10 AM
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Animania

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Just watched "Death Note" and I liked the dark theme. The plot is riveting and revolves around things like justice and crime, black and white, law and punishment, right and wrong. But there's plenty of wit and cunning in the air, as the two protagonists engage in a battle of the brains to outwit, outlast and outplay each other. I like such shows, the clever and ambivalent characters, storylines that don't tell you to be the good guy and kill the bad guy since there arent really a good or bad guy to start with. Defeating your opponent without the use of physical violence and aggression, but pure genius. The scene is electrifying even when everything seems normal and quiet, like the calm before the storm, and you can see the invisible daggers flying all over the place. A good choice for comic and suspense thriller lovers alike.

Anime has really been a good resort for me to escape from reality all these while. Somehow, it allows me to retain that child-like part in me. Yes, that alter-ego that prefers to see the light, go after dreams, undaunted by reality.

Featuring the couples in anime I like:

Over romaticised couple: Two coordinators (genetically altered humans) Kira Yamato and Lacus Clyne with too perfect genes together, and this is something that can only be seen in anime. From Gundam Seed Destiny.

Outlandish couple: Love blossoms between a half-demon and human. Inuyasha and Kagome, two seemingly impossible yet compatible duo, from the popular Inuyasha series.

Perfect match: Sakura and Syaoran from Tsubasa Chronicles and Cardcaptor. Haiz even I have to admit they really look very sweet together.

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:46 PM
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盖世英雄!

听他的第一首歌，印象最深的是“永远的第一天”，而矛盾的是，听的不是他的歌声，而是在上中二音乐课时班上的朋友选唱。后者唱的不失水准，原唱就不用说了。

王力宏。

欣赏他的technique，尤其是假音与真音转换间的顺畅无滞，从前两张专辑还留有蛛丝马迹能分辨真假到现在真假难分，近乎完美的vocals，现在能做到这点的歌手，屈指应该可数。

中国风的歌曲，周杰伦独辟蹊径，玩中式R&B；陶喆稍作攫取，利用的是华族乐器，且点到为止 （“孙子兵法”应是他的中国风代表作）；而他的涉猎广，先是重编重唱民族歌“龙的传人”，后自立门户，hiphop+中国乐= chinkout, 概念新，加上他不断加入新元素，京曲都用。

喜欢他chinkout的歌词，很有诗意，他的情歌，韵律总是很优美，听多也不太俗。

三个小时。

心中的日月、花田错、在梅边

Kiss Goodbye、Forever Love、Juliet

大城小爱、一首简单的歌、唯一

不可能错过你、爱的就是你、公转自转

喜欢他，毕竟是有充分理由的。

演唱会，除了陶喆，就属他了。

Envoy of the Stars @ 12:21 AM
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Relaxed

Saturday, October 21, 2006

I must joyfully admit time did pass rather quickly this week. Wednesday was battalion anniversary dinner which prompted the string of off days that follow. Though I had to go for range and subsequently do duty yesterday, which means burning two off days, I felt surprisingly relaxed.

Wednesday's dinner was a long wait. We waited for nearly one and a half hours before the first dish came up. Talk about army discipline. We were wolfing down this plate of peanuts as though we haven't eaten for days, and the waitress had to refill it for at least 4 times, until she gave this exasperated look and said there would be an extra charge if she were to refill it once more. The dishes were well-served and the performances by MDC were not bad, a pity the audience is not exactly an artistic or appreciative lot. They had "Battalion Idol" which was loads better than the performance night event held in my sispec company. It was funny when my company representative was singing and everyone was physically lending him his voice when he sang "That way", drowning out his voice so that in the end he didn't manage to win. Haha but it was an amusing sight.

Quite expectedly Derrick performed two songs, "Kiss goodbye" and "很想你", but response was lukewarm. Obviously you won't hear those high pitch screams of "I love you" from his fans like in the tv and I can see he is accustomed to being just another "Tom, Dick and Harry" in camp. But his performance did wrap up the evening rather nicely.

This entry sounds so high-spirited, maybe because I am going to watch Lee Hom's concert later tonight. Whoo! After removing a few obstacles that tried to jeopardise my chance of going, everything turned out smoothly in the end. Really looking forward to hearing him sing live.

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:32 AM
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清，情，请

Sunday, October 15, 2006

你们之间的事看清楚了吗？
嗯，清楚了。
那就好。
怎么说？
清除也就容易得多。
... ...


有些东西久了也不知道还有多少机会可以做。
？
譬如请客。
Hmm...
有时讽刺的是，要请客时，也已请不到。
哈哈，有理。
所以趁还有机会，该请的请。该清的清。
清？？？
清除的清。
比如？
那些终究会离去的背影。

Envoy of the Stars @ 8:31 PM
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Random

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Yesterday there was a "Happy Hour" party which delayed our book out timing and therefore sounded more like an unhappy hour to us. I don't know what is the relation between drinking and army men, but those up high decided we should be exposed to such form of social events. Not like we strive to be like those pot-bellied warrants who can hold their liquor better than their temper or work.

So after dragging ourselves to the spec mess, I found they have made the place to resemble a club, blasting the music and even hiring two waitresses to serve drinks. Like this is so necessary. There's a reason why I never go clubbing with some of my army mates and I realised I made the right choice, because after spending a mere five minutes in that place I felt as though my ear drums are bursting and I am developing a mild headache. And you know you are the one out of place when those regulars who have attained uncle-status are shaking their heads away and throwing their arms into the air to the music, even to the extent of dancing with the 2 "waitresses".

There I was dying to get out of the place but as usual, even for such casual and informal activities, we are still shackled by regimentation, so we still need to ask for permission to take our leave. Permission was duely granted, after much discretion, by my PC, which involves us having to down one shot of tequila, which leaves a burning sensation in you 1 minute after you gulped the alcohol down, but the aftereffect is pretty strong. No wonder they say alcohol poisons the mind. Drinking is really a bad practice.

Today was out with the old gang again. It has been only a few months since the last we met, but obviously everyone has changed abit more. I feel we talk less now, or rather, I talk less now, preferring to be the quiet listener I probably longed to be for a long time. The dynamics of the group have changed, but it still is a comfortable feeling talking to them. As usual, we dined in some place that is mildly expensive, for my standards at least.

Then when we were debating over our dinner budget,

Gavin said, “哎呀。钱乃身外之物。” （难得他讲华语）
So I went “那你把钱拿出来给我，让它变成我身上之物吧。它也就自然是你的身外物了。”

我发现，我们还是一样无聊。

Envoy of the Stars @ 1:14 PM
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那些年少

Friday, October 13, 2006

今天话一下当年。

1.

记得当年六年级，大家最风靡的是写纪念册。尤其在会考过后，老师闲，学生更闲，也就不用上什么公民课了，让学生“自由活动”，顺便也给自己自由一下。先是一群女生似乎是心灵相通，不约而同地开始传递纪念册，有些就规定要用些五彩缤纷的笔为她们的纪念册上留笔，甚至还会免费供应自己的私家珍藏荧光笔，让人觉得如果单用蓝笔、黑笔写的话有点涂鸦的嫌疑。

其中当然不乏道贺词，诸如“祝你一路顺风”、“All the best”之类居多，但如今回想起来最虚伪造作的莫过如“不要忘了我”和“友谊万岁”、“Friends Forever”等等的叮咛，有点像是：互写悼词。给我的启示是：很多东西也没有所谓的forever，真正永恒的东西是不用说出口的。

当时到了上学最后一天时，大家都预料中的恋恋不舍，因为都不习惯别离，我相信或多或少也是因为不想在离开熟悉的环境同时，又要置身另一个新环境的一种原始惰性。于是大伙儿首次到J8那里到处逛，看电影、吃饭，并且创下了一天之内拍最多大头贴的个人纪录，每张里都是挤满了人脸，真是忘了那时是如何呼吸的。一年后的一天，偶然接到一通电话，是一个女同学问我会不会参加一个聚会。忘了是基于什么原因，我说不会，电话挂断后，我跟那班人的联系从此也断了。

2.

中学时，读的那所学校像是个巨型面包烘烤机，每个烘烤过后的面包都是经过悉心加工，品质保证，运至各地，所以也享誉四方，除了偶尔有一、两个面包是不合标准的。无奈的是，我就是属于那面包的少数分子。

3.

“青春其实就是青少年发春。”-《像少年吧飞驰》

哥儿们最近可以分两种，一种是幸福美满，一种是思想苦闷，而区别这两种的关键当然是：姑娘。幸福美满就不用多做解释，至于思想苦闷，即是泡妞季节到了的道理了解的太迟了，漂亮点的都被泡走了，自然就会苦闷了。

有时看到别人成双成对，心里也会偶然的想要找个人陪，脑中浮现的往往也可能是最不会想到的人，因为本就是偶然的想法，就像现实中许多事情一样，都是那么偶然的。

一直在思考着的是：美丽为什么那么重要？我们又为什么需要美女？

“可能她们改变你的生活习性，让人感觉这个世界充满期待。虽然你觉得期待的东西就要得到的时候，她们马上去普度众生，让其他人觉得生活充满期待。” -《像少年吧飞驰》

而看到周围的人的恋爱过程我也若有所悟。就如分手时提出分手的一方定会说“对不起我知道这样很残酷但还是要坦白其实你条件很好只是我们不适合你会找到更好的我们依然是朋友吧”之类的话而即便这肯定不是另一方要听的。但事实是，他/她还是会说。她/他还是要听的。无可避免。

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:09 PM
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又一年，又三年- MAF

Saturday, October 07, 2006

一年了。好快的一年。好慢的一年。改变不大的一年。人事已非的一年。

发现其实你怎么看这一年，在于你的观察，或应该说，是在于你多么想观察。至于好坏，那也只不过是个人观点。

讲下MAF。

今年中秋，秋意浓。月色如血，光影朦胧，人呢？

雾很浓，浓得化不开，挥不散。人是否也已消失在雾中？

既然终需别，为何徒伤悲；秋，却上心头，却上心头，三千水，向东流。

欣慰的不是在穿过陌生人潮时居然有人不忘叫我的名字，更不是那几句寒暄，而是一种心灵维系。
大笑大骂中，心情好很多。我真的希望所说的“再见”是名副其实的。

不少人说我看东西很灰、很暗，很深、很远。其实这是种习惯。不管好坏，至少靠着它，我也熬过不少，经历了更多。

黑暗又怎样？就算蜡烛被风吹熄，我还是有方法偷偷地把它点亮的。不就是你把打火机递给我的吗?

你说：火柴太老土了... ...

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:26 PM
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累斗累

Friday, October 06, 2006

不知道是人类潜在的自我折磨心态，还是对自我极限的挑战，我既憎恨、厌恶，却又享受痛苦。

或许，我只不过习惯在痛苦中成长。不要误会，我不是心理变态，只是痛苦有时也是种充满矛盾的鞭策。

忍是一种修行。 有人说：等待是种艺术。忍耐也是。更是。

多少人等待，等待真爱、事业高峰、亲情寄托、荣华富贵、功名利禄... ...

多少人却可以忍耐？尽管这两者之间，有共通点。

所以，尽管冒着为刘德华打歌的嫌疑，（Eh... 被发现）我还是喜欢累斗累。

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:59 PM
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Scoop

Sunday, October 01, 2006

I haven't watched a show that combines good acting, a charming cast, humourous lines and a good story plot for quite a long time. Compliments to Woody Allen, as the quirky magician who never fails to awe the crowd (not those he performs to in the show but those watching the movie) and set off a chain reaction of laughter during his appearances. (the lady sitting behind me definitely enjoyed herself alot because her high-pitched laughter really added quite a bit of entertainment to the already entertaining scriptlines)

Hugh Jackman did a fine job acting as someone without adamantium claws and a primitive personality, but the refined english gentleman. Scarlett Johansson doesn't lose out to him either in terms of stealing the show, but makes her acting seeps in naturally through subtle emotions and minor details. No longer just the pretty face like that in "The Island", I think she really gave the show a run for the money, though I don't know if it's the camera angle, the lighting or the clothes she dons but some scenes do seem unflattering to her. In conclusion, a good movie that shouldn't be missed.

I spent my past week immersed in Freud's world and I am truly fascinated. Although reading through "Civilisations and its discontents" reminded me strongly of studying for GP back then, there was so much to take in I had to stop and close the book at times to let things settle down first before continuing. The mental journey is quite arduous but enlightening. I especially liked his main point, about how the "death drive" lies within every human, only to be suppressed by the super ego and the sense of guilt within him, thereby disarming the primitive aggression that lives in him, as a measure adopted by civilisation to cope with the discontents it faces, a kind of check and balance, and that finally, Eros (the life instinct) is forever engaged in a struggle against the Thanatos (the death drive).

Some might say Freud is psychotic, or that he does suffer from mental illness. Maybe that's true, but that shouldn't and doesn't undermine his brilliance. I did hear from someone that psychologists or experts in this field do become mentally ill over time. Sometimes I don't even understand what mentally ill means. Does thinking differently from the masses or achieving a certain level of awakening that sets you apart from the community warrant an accusation of being mentally ill? Now you know why hermits exist.

Envoy of the Stars @ 1:19 AM
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