Good bye

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Last few hours to the end of a year, and start of a year. Some say you start with a big bang, and end with huge fanfare. But I guess I would not say I have lived 2006, more like romanced 2006. There were rough times; times fraught with uncertainties, moments of anguish, hard-up lessons in life, tests of strength, determination and perseverance and time itself; but there were also enjoyable moments; the joy after my first POP, the taking of the ferry BACK to mainland during bookouts, the class gatherings, the clique outings, the K sessions... ...

Just want to wish everyone good health. Savour the sweetness of 2006's last night, as life's connoisseurs.

Envoy of the Stars @ 8:35 PM
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圣诞结

Monday, December 25, 2006

我住的城市从不下雪
记忆却堆满冷的感觉
思念的旺季霓虹扫过喧哗的街
把快乐赶得好远

*落单的恋人最怕过节
只能独自庆祝尽量喝醉
我爱过的人没有一个留在身边
寂寞它陪我过夜

Merry merry christmas
lonely lonely christmas
想祝福不知该给谁
爱被我们打了死结
lonely lonely christmas
merry merry christmas
写了卡片能寄给谁
心碎的像街上的纸屑

电话不接不要被人发现我整夜都关在房间
狂欢的笑声听来像哀悼的音乐
眼眶的泪温热冻结望着电视里的无聊节目
瘫在沙发上变成没知觉的植物

谁来陪我过这圣诞节

细细咀嚼着Eason陈奕迅的这首歌的韵味。不知不觉地，醉了。

淡淡的blue，平安夜中漂浮漂浮

漂浮身在何处

多少过去入土

轻轻火烛，扑不灭的单独单独

单独做客幽谷

回忆风餐露宿

推窗无月构图

谁听雨声哭诉？

Envoy of the Stars @ 12:46 AM
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Origins date back to "As always"

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Did alot of catching up today and as always, like the rapport with different groups of people I have known and still am happily maintaining a relationship with. Sometimes I get surprised by sudden popups- remnants of the past in the middle of conversations which make me go like, wow didn't know they still remember that. And that, that, that; those magical, mystical, monstrous moments, immortalised in a memory casing, locked away in our minds.

First up was breakfast with lala, xf, zq and xiaobai. Good old routine clique. Same dynamics. Same practice. (bridge, what else) But enjoyable as usual, abit like quality insured. Then met up with camp mates to watch some Christmas performance which was pretty magnificent. Lastly, a gathering with Gav, Zehan and Ws, minus loong again.

Again, as always, keeping the tradition of spending we have established during outings all along, we dined, then went for a drink. Literally a drink. Plus we came up with a lame denomination whenever we refer to the price of an item. We now count in number of chicken rice packets.

So the conversation will go something like that:

“Eh 你们看，这杯东西， 大概是七包鸡饭。”

“那这个应该有十一包啰。”

“Ok, 我的是一包鸡饭，一包叉烧饭，加一碗板面。”

“我比较喜欢鸭饭和carrot cake leh。”

“Wah 你刚刚已经吃掉两包鸡饭了，还剩五包！”

Envoy of the Stars @ 2:12 AM
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似曾相识

Friday, December 22, 2006

今天是似曾相识的一天。同个时候。同趟地铁车程。同个车厢。同样身穿黄衣，各倚着左右各一边车窗的两个人。中间隔着一片渺茫的人海。偶然透过密密层层的身影，那一瞬间的惊鸿一瞥，眼神交接，同时移开，过后的一阵惊诧，一路心神不宁。

似曾相识的身影，似曾相识的脸庞；

闸门开了。擦身而过的一秒，拆开那戏剧化的结局。原来，一切真的是那么似曾相识；

似是

而非。

“遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉，仿佛我们在前世有一段过去... ...”-陶喆《似曾相识》

Envoy of the Stars @ 5:09 PM
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闷

无聊最能激发创意：

“那个女的，远看茱丽叶，近看猪八戒。”

“你是人贱人爱不错啦。人越贱，大家越爱。”

“情调情调，情侣的调调；最妙的是，倒过来更妙，不就是调情... ...”

Envoy of the Stars @ 4:40 PM
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Warmth in a while

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Always feel nostalgic when break finally draws to an end, for now at least. Haha. Still looking forward to Christmas break and hopefully will meet up with more people.

Totally enjoyed the class gathering we had on friday. Although there was the occasional silence and clique groupings, but having not been together for so long it was good to see everyone who went. It has been quite a while, after all.

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:56 PM
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End it has not

Thursday, December 14, 2006

The year is slowly creeping by, and crawling to an end. How much I learned, I have forgotten. Because whatever I have chosen to remember, they have already become integrated with me as a whole. When people asked "have you changed?", I get stumped. The thing is I always feel we change with the passing of every single day, so the question should rather be how have you changed, by which I get even more lost for words, the reason being changes in you yourself are more accurately highlighted by the people around you. Picture this. If you were stranded on an island all by yourself, would you even bother checking how your thinking changes daily, like black and white is no longer clear cut and put them together and they give a shade of grey? Assuming you place so much self-emphasis you do, how accurate can you be? I stick to the belief that people around you are the ones pointing out the changes in you because they are the ones seeing it most clearly. For you yourself, you just grow out of yourself and go on moving.

Pang of subtlety

The light in your eyes
an extinguished spark in my mind

Hint of the flicker in street lamps
along paths walked a hundred times
when will the familiarity subside?

Roads we took by step and
paced the moon
Whether imaginary, crescent or full

Against the same night sky I sat
thinking well, what about it?
Knowing the darkness will set
and the dawn will break on your side

No longer sure

Am I?

Envoy of the Stars @ 7:59 PM
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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

音知颂

天罡地煞聚
赤子君交轻
闲赴太学府
笑登状元楼
十八从戎去
拂衣从容归
纵使清流退
不时海内集
共消少欢愁
偕旅踏万川
古人不识今
今人传古风
围炉慢煮酒
赋才挥剑气
谁解诗中意
再作侠客行

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:07 PM
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The beginning is the end

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Made it back. Finally. 3 weeks seem so long, yet a glance back told me there's no specific day by day details left in my head by now. Many things have probably happened in my absence. But whatever it is, the sky is still blue, at least on sunny days when the rain clouds take a break.

Before I begin, must comment on a movie I watched on the plane. (Some things never change. Going away doesn't stop me from catching good films) This quote from "Little Miss Sunshine" goes something like this. "Life is just one beauty contest after another. F%$ the people who judge us. So just do what you want, pursue your dreams and f%^& the rest."

The job as a whole was, well, relatively routine. It's just something to do with my job scope, actually. It's hard to explain what I do and even if it is explicable, I won't do it either. But let's just say, I do something like reporting 4D numbers, literally, over the phone whenever other people need to check for things. Ya so imagine the same process repeating over and over again, 24/7 around the clock.

But the weather in kangarooland was definitely a bit irksome, with a relatively high diurnal range. (Whoo geogers check this out! I remember my stuff... lol) Day time temperatures are high enough to roast and toast me, while night time temperatures just leave you freezing. Not to mention you literally bite the dust whether it's day or night. As for the aftermath, well we worked throughout the night when we ended, packing the crates immediately and therefore this whole week was extremely slack for me. Just eat, sleep, go canteen eat, use the computers when available, walk about camp, sleep and the last few days were rest and recreation. I mean I was checking up on Carl Jung at wikipedia when other people were hogging the computers looking up friendster and female pictures... So you can tell how boring those few days were.

无聊时最容易用想来打发时间。那两星期，还是触动了些沉寂的诗情。

情.殇

一弯新月，弧度清脆

勾起尘封的憔悴

扑不灭的蝴蝶 穿插在记忆杂草丛中乱飞

我自觉 已然有点醉

被西风吹着摇曳 ——

思念的不悔

风沙扬起 割开视线

支离破碎 和你那段缘


少年愁不是滋味 偏偏倔强爱回味

一杯饮不完的离别

衣角几时沾了伤悲 身边位子留给谁

难道星星学会催眠 将残酷粉饰完美


不要随便说无所谓 却原来口是心非

把成全书在最后一页 再白手长叹

情苦著成的经典


默然凭吊往事的墓碑

眼前泛黄笑靥

曾经沧海 难为

今夜

凉

如

水

不追随 你的蹙眉

换不回


黄昏段

斜影依故我

夕阳顾他人

谁园开紫嫣

枫落一身秋



夜的叶

黑夜降临 把理智完全遮蔽

悄悄猜出我的心情

阴晴不定 仿佛月亮的身影

只到十五才太过分明

伤口到底是痊愈还是已被藏起

连摆脱寂寞跟踪都无力

以往靠近 并没多么靠近

暧昧毕竟也是差距

思念像满地落叶被吹起

一阵翻滚过后就回到了死寂

扫除得不干净 微光低头叹着伶仃

露水已弹破了几滴 溅湿被抽空的去年冬季


一年了。酸楚甜蜜也会化去。化为一肚不知所谓。有人说一切顺其自然吧。这也是我告诉当兵朋友的一句话。他给我的回答很妙。

“我已经自然了二十年了。”

对于情，每个人的追求不同。但无疑，很多人都被伤过。要释怀谈何容易。那几天在荒野的月夜长谈，让我了解别人的世界是如何的。在我和一部分的你们眼中，那是个陌生的世界，有点扭曲，有点分不清肉体与情感，你甚至会说它很荒淫。但我相信了，我怎么想不重要，因为活在那个世界的不是我。他何尝不是伤心人。他何尝不知道他做的不一定对。但人总是有沉沦的时候。所以我只是说：“不要沉太久。希望你赶快找到你的希望。”

看到一个室友在怂恿下抽了第一口烟，然后第二、三、四、五... ... 还好没在继续，至少我们没再看到。心里面一直挣扎，因为劝了、讲了，但始终觉得很无助。幸亏他有听。但我还是记得我在那似醉非醉的晚餐后，酒气颇重，语气平和地跟他说了那句"No matter what, we will stand by you. But can you promise us you will not smoke, cos we care."

三个星期。有狂过、醉过、清醒过, 但没有错过。足够。

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:54 PM
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