还原

Thursday, May 29, 2008

I happen to click on the "Drafts" tab and to my surprise, there were a total of 22 items saved under that category. Articles I have not published, locked away in the most secluded and safest corner of this account. I used the word "surprise" because some of the drafts triggered residual sentiments I probably experienced when I was penning (ok I mean typing) the entry. Of course, there is a reason for not publishing them, but in all honesty, the reason is mainly forgetfulness 80% of the time. The remaining 20% is probably because I don't know how to finish the entry and left it hanging, or I made a last minute retraction.

Whatever it is, I decided to fish out some of these drafts and award them their rightful restorations.

2006剖白
我用了两年熟悉一个崭新的环境，却用了两个月把它给忘记。

我将经历过的酸甜苦辣做成了标本，它叫做回忆。 -30/12/05

不懂
不晓得为什么80%男子希望理想情人是个漂亮长发女子。不晓得为什么无法以数字计算的女子心态存在着对方需要幽默但又需要文静，需要豁达又需要细心，需要有男子气概又需要是新好男人，需要这些择偶条件。 -09/03/06

网络小说
喜欢翻阅书本看网络小说，虽然听起来有点吊诡，但这种能感染些许书香味，同时又能感受虚构而真实，浮华与腐朽，美妙和丑陋的世界的感觉，我想追下去品味。-21/05/06

提笔
翻开笔记簿，居然有一页写着下面几段文字。写的时候心里是有曲的，至今仍在，在心里。一直不试着谱出来，因为一我没时间，二我不是周杰伦，三那钢琴也安静地沉睡了好一阵子了，我想就让它沉睡多一阵子吧。所以曲还是免谈了... 反正有些歌是先有词的嘛。真是.... 够臭屁。

《》
失眠
把我手牵
在凌晨一点

思念
找我消遣
在破晓之前

闭上眼
却看到那蓝、紫、靛
呼吸间 就已时过境迁
手指尖
触摸着过去的边缘

何曾意识几点会变天
却害怕越猜越遥远
等待一出现
就很难说再见
枕边还遗下月光的残缺
相对却无言

何曾意识几点会变天
却害怕越猜越遥远
落叶有几片
我心就有几片
窗外阵阵风吹得再猛烈
寂寞不熄灭 -25/06/06

我们的年少
还剩多少
青春不都挥之即来 悄然逝去
没留下一点青苔 -25/11/06

Yes if you noticed, all these drafts are chinese entries.. Hope they deserve to see the light.

Envoy of the Stars @ 1:16 AM
-------------------------------

And it has ended...

Friday, May 23, 2008

Memories of me flipping through the classifieds while doing office duty last year, just a few months before the Big Day still haunt me now and then, and I must say I have never expected the RT job to knock on my door. Neither would I have expected myself to get more than what I have bargained for in continuing this RT job over a span of 5 months...

But now that things have finally come to an end, I must say I am grateful for the chance. It had been quite a good learning journey, yes, for me too.

I was expecting myself to sign in and out of the office promptly on a daily basis just so I can clock the bare minimum amount of working hours for the job but the sheer number of relief teachers and eventual formation of an RTUnion sort of signaled a more interesting turn of events.

And so,

We had our first official gathering for CNY at our pres Heng Jie's house..

Playing the "this-is-a-what" game that made us doubt our sanity minutes after the game started... We literally drowned ourselves in our own voices... For those who don't know what this game is about, it is just this game where the first person will start passing items down the row and the next person will pass it on while receiving new instructions regarding a next item to be passed.. Still no clue, it's ok, just accept it as a party game..


捞起- to wish that students can just hand in their work.. (whether that worked is debatable)


A random shot during Kaleidoscope Opening (Some performing arts group joint collaboration festival)

At the rate we see each other, you will be surprised the number of dinner outings we had..

Mass RT dinner- I should say the most successful one to date... (Yes now do you believe when I said our numbers are intimidating..)

The RT ladies trying weird poses...

Labour Day Potluck at Spenser's House (So much food we almost gorged ourselves to death.. once again convincing me that potluck easily leads to food wastage)

Luckily we always invent or reuse games to clear the food aid our digestion. (like the Polar Bear game...)

Exco members of the RTU in the front row. Welfare recipients in the back.

Another attempt at the "this-is-a-what" game...

Finally,


the students. My main class 3K. Quite cute on the whole, but headache-inducing when they make a din (which they often) in which case I have to raise my voice to compete with their collective voices... Ah well at least they did reasonably well.

Erm... a student caught this on cam.. The dangers of technology.

Trying to make my point... Yes try not to laugh too loud.

At the risk of sounding heartless and cold, I did say this is just another phase of my life. But a meaningful one. Ask me if my perception of the education scene has changed? It's a secret. Maybe I don't know as well.. But it's been nice talking to some of the teachers there and gaining new insights that will be useful regardless of whether my future profession will be related to education. Of course PTM was not as nightmarish as what my teachers used to make them out to be. How I manage to go on and on for so long while hiding my initial jitters is a myth too. But this experience is as real as I am feeling now. Off to KL then... This will officially kick start my travel plans..

Envoy of the Stars @ 8:58 PM
-------------------------------

迟来的感动

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

抛开政治立场，丢掉难以理清的成见，搁置书不尽的恩仇录，放下思想各异的价值观，才能看到那潜伏在每个炎黄子孙心底的，最原始，璀璨夺目，光彩耀眼的华夏情结。

两岸三地的华人团结起来，共同为一个目的努力，抢救一个现在，建设一个未来，站在同一条阵线上，对抗的是天灾，实实在在地有难同当。不管是身居高位的政治官员、国家元首、集团总裁，还是一般民众，各行各业的员工，都能不分彼此地为汶川地震的受害者尽一份力，看到那么多感人凄美的故事陆续上演、落幕，多少魂断塌楼，肠断床头，多少随风而逝的生命，多少前线勇士争分夺秒地在拼命，只因为相信有值得保护的东西。在弱肉强食而各人自扫门前雪的现实中，一场浩劫却唤起了生命本初的一份人文关怀。这份迟来的感动，不要遗忘。

如吴韦材所言，“在面对这些自然灾害时，人类的互助与互信精神应该回到最基本的人道立场上去，超越种族、文化、信仰，更可以超越所谓的意识形态，一齐面对灾难及损害，从中吸取教训及经验。”

我只是很无力、静默地隔岸观火，只是很幼稚地，幻想着这时若有漫画中、科幻小说中跳脱出来的超人、变形金刚、大力士、钢弹都能奇迹般出现，拯救苍生，很多的悲剧就能改写。

徒留下又一轮的不胜唏嘘，无声感慨，不同的是，这次带着满心的温暖与期待，期待一个忙碌追逐中不忘相互包容接纳，以人道而非资本为根本的世界。

Envoy of the Stars @ 8:39 AM
-------------------------------

花凋了

Saturday, May 17, 2008

去年今日此门中，人面桃花相映红
人面不知何处去，桃花依旧笑春风

桃花纷飞的景象壮观，其实也很凄凉。眼里闪过的桃花，生命中掠过的桃花，片片飘落，那么短暂，那么优雅地，翩翩而卧。

我只是，等待下一场烟雨。

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:08 PM
-------------------------------

起风了

Thursday, May 15, 2008

有人说：旅者，是拍下这个世界，不是买下整个世界；不需带走什么，只是单纯留下脚印。在正式启程前，脑中出现了这段文字。我们总是在互看，很少能做到不比较，不羡慕。因为总是在看，所以总是有比不完的事项，和随之而来的精神重担。我喜欢旅行的原因，的确因为我喜欢看，看不同的，看不能理解的，看属于另一个世界的，看绵长永恒的，看昙花一现的。当然，我了解这是双向交通，公平交换，因为在看的同时，我也在被看，当然或多或少。渐渐地，也要接受别人的眼光，就像别人也同样受到注视与判断一样。所以，笑骂由人，不太在乎别人的目光就显得重要。那也是种境界。我们也如同景物一般，不过是彼此的装饰。

你无须明了我的心境，就像我不能弄清你的思绪；我们只是遥相观望，你让现实斑驳了你的梦想，我用梦想粉饰了我的现实。

轻舟久候起风期，正是扬帆好时日。

Envoy of the Stars @ 3:47 PM
-------------------------------

Because I'm a girl - J-entercom

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Ironically the first time I watched this mv was in a setting that is not in the least romantic. It was via a friend's psp when the whole lot of us were attending a range session.

I personally found the mv very touching, although I guess most who viewed the mv with me then were focusing on the girl more than anything else. (Ya I know she's pretty hot and all) There's a chinese version of this song too, sang by 徐婕儿，entitled 没有你的每一天． Enjoy.

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:24 PM
-------------------------------

自强不息

Friday, May 09, 2008

乾卦：天行健，君子以自强不息
坤卦：地势坤，君子以厚德载物

天（即自然）的运动刚强劲健，相应于此，君子应刚毅坚卓，发愤图强；大地的气势厚实和顺，君子应增厚美德，容载万物。

自强不息，是我从中学带走的仅剩一样东西。最重要的东西。

有人问：“君子？是soldier吗？”

“Er.... 那是军人。”

“那什么是君子？”

一种境界：心存坦荡，胸怀广阔，无愧天地，愈挫愈强。

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:47 AM
-------------------------------

How it feels like..

Monday, May 05, 2008


To be at the bottom of the food chain...

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:31 PM
-------------------------------

Ito Yuna x Celine Dion - Anata ga Iru Kagiri

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Perfect for the ears. A duet by two great voices.

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:32 PM
-------------------------------

Yuna Ito & Celine Dion- Anata ga Iru Kagiri

Anata ga Iru Kagiri

I've seen the tears and the heartache
And I've felt the pain
I've seen the hatred
And so many lives lost in vain

And yet through this darkness
There's always a light that shines through
And takes me back home
Takes me back home

Takai kabe no mukou
Nani ga attemo
Nigetakunai
Arukitsuzukeyou
Wasurenaide

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
Ai no tame ni
Tsuyokunareru
Anata ga iru kagiri

Namida de afureru kokoro
Yorisou yohou ni daite kureta
Kizukeba hitori de wa nakatta
Kaze no hi mo
Ame no hi mo

And I see for one fleeting moment
A paradise under the sun
I drift away
And I make my way back to you
Wasurenaide

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
Nando datte
Yarinaoseru
Ashita ga aru kagiri

Hito wa kizutsuku tabi ni
Hontou ni taisetsu na
Kotae ni chikazukeru kara

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
Ai no tame ni
Tsuyokunareru
Anata ga iru kagiri

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
Nando datte
Yarinaoseru
Ashita ga aru kagiri

Anata to iru kagiri
Anata to iru kagiri

Ikiteyukou

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:31 PM
-------------------------------

For who he is

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Blame it on age but as I grow older, my perception of superheroes has changed quite abit from back then. I used to like But one thing's for certain: I still like them as they are. Batman still tops my chart as all-time favourite. I admire his intelligence, his willpower, his guts and his very remarkable but very humanistic strength. Truly the epitome of mental and physical capacities at its peak. Second in line will be the ever ambivalent Spiderman. If I have to name a third, two names run up close in a tie: Ironman and Cyclops.

If one might notice, the three are more "human" than ever, especially when compared to their superhero peers like the omnipotent Superman, the mighty Silver Surfer, the Fantastic Four, the Green Lantern and so many more. They have their limits, their flaws, their "human errors", and these make their characters all the more charismatic.

Ironman is dead cool. The animation is very elaborate. Robert Downey Jr completely fits into the role of Tony Stark. The movie is engaging, even though the storyline is normal and rather predictable. (Then again after Spiderman, Transformers, X-men blah blah blah there's just that many surprises the producers can churn up) But that is quite expected in a way. This is but a movie dealing with Ironman's origins, as with any previous Superhero installments. This is but a movie targetted at those who like Ironman.

Envoy of the Stars @ 2:49 PM
-------------------------------