眼光.脸色

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

我想只要是置身尘嚣，凡有人气的地方就有政治，就有迁就和包容，就有群体和个体，而人与人的接触，接受最多的是他人的眼光和脸色。

眼光有很多种，有赞许或批评，能让你身处天堂或地狱，也可以给予鼓励或是把你一脚踩下去。它是种暗语，如果说眼光是不直接表露的，脸色就是针对性的。既言及色，则当然和色彩有关，不然也就没有“黑脸示人”，“白脸面具”，“蓝色忧郁”，green with envy 和seeing red诸如此类之说。这边的颜色值得玩味。颜色，旧指脸色、容颜，高适《燕歌行》就有“男儿本自重横行，天子非常赐颜色”，此中颜色当然有别于今时今日之“还以颜色”。给人脸色看，看人脸色，或许也是人生中的循环。

其实眼光和脸色可以很有力度，轻则影响心情、重则改变生活作习，但问题不在投射眼光、施与脸色的源头身上，而在接受这些signals的一端。可以选择淡然处之，也可以看得太重而深受其影响。正面的当然不成问题，负面的往往才考验个人境界。

这些附加物品或日常贺礼，不喜欢当然可以不理，只是不要说没有选择。把那些眼光和脸色看成表演也不错。The world's a stage. 人生的百态，看得也就更清楚。毕竟一种米养百种人。

如果真的不喜欢这一百种人，就吃面吧。

Envoy of the Stars @ 8:05 PM
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Distractions

Friday, October 24, 2008

"So we have discussed until here..."

“Hey do you see that person who just walked past? Her second time already."

"..."

Such is the reason I come to loathe project meetings, even if the group is made up of friends I am familiar with, even if I can understand the reason for his distractions.

Ahh.. love is in the air. But wait, what love? According to Sternberg's triangular model of love, there are three components that make love wholesome, namely passion, intimacy and commitment, but often relationships will lack one or two ingredients and fall into other categories.

"To be able to offer your blessings to someone you loved who is now in another person's arms is a noble thing." I heard that line from somewhere and can't help feeling nonchalant with the last part. I find the thought of identifying one's sacrifices as noble rather self-serving. It's just a moralising euphemism for eating sour grapes while amplifying your magnanimity at the same time, which is quite hypocritical. If one can't afford to give the happiness that one's partner desires, the relationship will eventually lose its meaning when everything becomes contrived but is being forced to continue.

我是觉得不该故作大方地把成全当成你伟大的恩惠。那只是你站在自己的立场为自己叫屈，彰显自己的痛苦，可曾发现，对方的身影早已不见。这就是自私，也是自我的爱。

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:38 PM
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一分悟性

“你也懂诗？”戊语带轻蔑。

“一点点。只是懂些事，但不是很务实。”辛尴尬回应。

“哦。这样，有用啊？”戊胜利的微笑也露得太早了。

“没有... ...” 辛无奈得很坚决。

“只是和你一样，在活着。”

Envoy of the Stars @ 12:46 AM
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碧山隐者

《清修自诩山中客》

此间何所有？

顶上白云多。

闲来抚琴歌，

行胜事自知。

巧逢故人时，

谈笑不念期。

青霭谁道见？

碧山荡沉声。

Envoy of the Stars @ 12:01 AM
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幔低垂

Thursday, October 23, 2008

千篇重叠晨光斜，芳心空度腮胜雪

懒起倦梳头，轻弄淡妆，云鬓千层浪。

镜前顾盼，花面几度增妍？

莺穿新霓裳，犹散昨日香。

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:13 PM
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Meaning

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I have a tendency to simplify things, especially after being exposed to teachings like "the world is not what it seems". Just wanted to get a few things noted down.

It's true that at times there's a certain lack of motive which amounts to a certain degree of alienation and disillusionment at the objective of studying certain things. It doesn't appear to change anything. Take for example, people learn about stereotypes and all causes and impacts they bring, but what comes after? Would people not still take to stereotyping? Where's the supposed increase in awareness? Even if stereotyping is indeed an integral part of information processing, (don't want to get started on this) such efficient categorisation of information will not necessarily provide a complete picture or an accurate context. But we still fall back on such, because I guess we just want to comprehend things and what easier way to comprehend than building on what we know, or simply relying wholly on what we know.

We are all searching for meaning in things, but conversely, we give certain things we deem important their rightful meanings too. What is the meaning, then, of understanding and supposedly making sense of issues when we merely acknowledge things without putting them into action? Learning for the sake of learning might develop the mind's capacity, but not the heart's strength.

Arguments may be part and parcel of life, especially when we have our separate beliefs, but I feel there's a right to disagree that we should all be mindful of and ultimately, we can make the world more liveable not just with ideological tools handed down by others, but with respect and compassion that comes from within.

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:32 PM
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卷舌有什么了不起

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

有时，会有认识的人在提到“cheena”有关的话题，不管是中国学生、中华文化（吓！居然会跟文化沾上半点边就已经是惊人之举了）、华文华语，说话时就会突然装起中国腔，好像舌头打结般狂卷舌，当然是自以为模仿了“中国话”，其实听来洋腔洋调，十足鬼话连篇。“是啊！这儿的中国学生特别多儿。”“用华语说话儿，你一定很喜欢儿。”喜欢你的大头鬼啦。听了实在作呕。

如果卷舌秀几下自以为是的北京腔华语就以为这样做到“华语酷”，那还不如去饶舌好了。只是在每句话尾端加上个“儿”，谁不会... ... 有本事就引经据典，滔滔不绝，妙语如珠，而不是简单一句话用华语说都要想那么久，说起来也都卡卡的。若只是想借此取笑，那更是自暴其短，绝非明智之举，恐怕只能贻笑大方，偷鸡不成蚀把米。

这样东施效颦，实在是令人反感。反正对华语持如此蔑视之态，干脆说回你们的盎格撒克逊语吧，何必名副其实的，出尽洋相。

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:37 PM
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“智”是争辩的器具

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

孔子对颜回说：“你晓得德为什么放荡，智为什么外露吗？德所以放荡，是因为好名；智所以外露，是因为争势。好名是攻击的主因，用智是争胜的器具，这两个都是有害的凶器，不能用作处世的准则。”

-林语堂，《左手孔子，右手老子》，（陕西师范大学出版社，2007），页118

Envoy of the Stars @ 12:24 AM
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Dance, monkeys, dance

Monday, October 13, 2008

A nice video to remedy the over-worked and hard-pressed soul. This is actually aired during a social psychology lecture and I personally felt compelled to share the underlying messages. Enjoy!

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:57 PM
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天涯倦客

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

天涯倦客，回首来路

望穿无数城府。

叶落乌啼，水波不惊。

摆柳笑我无所适从，

何曾自觉，向南朝北仅凭细风。

等闲折桂，乐而同度。

焉知青梅煮酒，不以常规论英雄。

拍把烟尘，留待明日暮鼓晨钟

如是千言张口词穷，忘怀笑，

此番隽永，欲说还休。

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:10 PM
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Believe

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

"If we don't think of deceiving and taking advantage of others, no one will be hurt and everyone will find happiness."

I want to believe in such naivety, to believe in a world devoid of lies.

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:20 PM
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我看我

Thursday, October 02, 2008

有股冲动想从这几年写的“已发表”东西中，找出有点代表性的。但偶尔翻阅archives和我的存档，才发现原来我不同时期的百无聊赖已可自编成一部“离骚”。

要选出“代表作”(就其实是一堆说不出个所以然的文字“欲”）还真的很难。有在大扫除时整理房间垃圾经验的就知道是什么感觉了。

大概就有这几篇：

《10小时24公里》, Sunday, 05 March 2006
《很想你》，Wednesday, 15 March 2006
《曲终人散》, Sunday, 06 August 2006
《聊斋》Tuesday, 24 October 2006
《两载多短促》Friday, March 16, 2007
《最后的大巴窑》Wednesday,05 December 2007

今年写的就不说了。偶尔回味过去的文字，重看自己的幼稚，还真是空闲做的事... ...

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:34 PM
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迟来的序

一点愿望，一点火光

辨不清的立场

叙不完的荒诞

在荆棘满布圈圈思路上

我继续垦荒，缓缓收藏

且看

一缕风轻云淡

伴随文字尽情流浪

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:39 PM
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A Drop of Ideology

The world can never be what we want it to be. Because we all want it to be in our own way.

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:07 PM
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