Angst

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Masked by a facade,
the wall of indifference seperates.
Painted by a coat of blank emotions,
filling up the empty spaces.
A barricaded cellar I have locked myself up,
emanating the final traces
of the scent derived from past pretty faces
running deep within my blood.
The intrusion of the first glimpse of light from the barred windows,
obliterating the gates to Limbo.
Consume me in darkness,
the compass does not necessarily encompasses
my sense of directions.
Never would I have to see those unchallenged arrogance
and be forced to live with those distorted images,
that has been blinded by lust,
a curse that lasts.
Please stop this act of sanctimony,
I surrender to this wondrous ceremony.
And please be gone once I have graced it,
or just leave me in that broken alley to weep silently.

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:50 PM
-------------------------------

Hallo-win?

Seriously the Halloween thing held tonight was so just plain sad. Hate to say it but it was close to a failure. The only thing that has saved it from its perpetual tragedy is the enthusiasm of those people who actually turned up for the event. Was quite disappointed with the turn-up, especially when I am the only person in A12 (I think, didnt see anyone else) to come and I must say that even then I only came because I happened to be around the vicinity. I guess the heavy rain in the late afternoon must have dampened everyone's spirits.

Anyway saw Lee Koon sitting with two of her NJ friends at a12 classbench and of course it was a pleasant surprise. Chatted with her abit and found out that NJ held a similar Halloween party yesterday and it definitely shone much more than HC's. Guess for the first time HC has claimed the title of "having no life" from NJ. Haha. I think the councilors are quite pitiful, dressing up as the usual "monsters" and going about trying, in a rather pathetic attempt, to scare people. Saw the choir gang and hang out with them for a while. Xiao Ye wore that funny mask and he looked more amusing than scary, not to mention "horny", since the mask has got horns.

Saw the crowd beating a big Pumpkin-shaped object (forgot the name, supposed to contain sweets and goodies). I laughed so loudly when someone who took the hockey stick whack the thing repeatedly. (he is only supposed to do it once) It was like so funny because I doubt Faith or Fang Yi could really stop him since he is blind-folded and he is just hitting the thing with full force. So obviously the repeated blows bore a huge hole and the contents dropped out. Saw a few girls wearing Chinese High uniform and can't help feeling so angry. Really spoilt my mood. If they think it would be a good idea to dress up as a Chinese High guy for Halloween, I don't think any self-respecting CHS guy should stomach these ill intentions. I may not agree with every school policy undertaken by the CHS authorities but I don't think it funny in the very least to cast a school in bad light just because of some resentment over some school policies that are not even decided by the school but by those few high-ranking people sitting up there calling the shots.

Anyway, figured out there was not much to do since I didnt want to watch "The Exorcist" or go to the "haunted house" so I went home and here I am. Really want to go to KTV. Was bored stiff today.

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:53 PM
-------------------------------

珍珑棋局

Friday, October 29, 2004

黑
挺进包围
白
伺机分庭抗礼
子入劫生东
子入劫生西
子入劫生南
子入劫生北
困兽之斗
枷锁造反锁后
似真似假地避开
自添一气的结局
似笑非笑地接受
自我催眠的安排
继续沉醉
睡


Envoy of the Stars @ 7:38 PM
-------------------------------

围棋乐

Thursday, October 28, 2004

今天体会了琴棋书画中的围棋所能带给人们的乐趣。没想到这看似沉闷的游戏竟能玩上瘾。让我不禁想起《碧血剑》的棋痴木桑道长。明明是“千变万化草上飞”，却偏要自该外号为“千变万劫棋国手”。与应隆弈棋，真是要经深思熟虑，步步为营，无奈往往棋差一着，被他反攻，虽然最后输了，不过反而对围棋之道更感兴趣。到图书馆翻了翻几本书，也有所收获。

再来就是玩"Bridge"时不知为什么，今天几乎每场都赢，简直是匪夷所思。不想去想S Paper的事，偏偏它却像一层雾挥之不去，越抗拒就越调入它给我设下的虚伪圈套里。我想我如果再次去appeal, 会否是在逆天而行，还是这一切是按天命而行？无奈现在我已无语。

又开始走伤心路线了，还是说些开心的吧。今天搭156 时偶然发现一个身材娇小的美貌女子。本人自认眼光不错，那应该是在SMU念书的女生看起来真的很sweet。不过各位请别误会，这纯粹是鉴赏，并无他意，哈哈，看来生活还是需要些“美”的东西来调剂一下，增添生活情趣。譬如看看SHE（尤其是Hebe)，听听他们的歌（候鸟真的是超赞！）也是一种幸福的领悟。最近迷上张学友的“忘了哭”（对不起Alvin整天都在唱，不过真得很好听啊！）可见歌神的魅力无限，宝刀未老。我想音乐就是宇宙的一个秘密，是人类的天赐禀赋。

Envoy of the Stars @ 5:11 PM
-------------------------------

Stiffness

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

I don't know why but I felt terribly stiff and robotic today. I guess it is because of the fact that I did too many stupid things today, so stupid that I don't understand the reasoning behind my actions. Firstly, fully aware that I had not a single lesson for the day, I made the attempt to report for the flag-raising ceremony. Secondly, when Mr Choe saw me today he was like shocked as though he saw me for the first time and he went, "Hey you actually came." I was like giving him the best face I could actually force myself to show.

Thirdly, I actually managed to linger in the LEP room for nearly 6 hours, doing nothing except searching for blogs to read and talking crap. Can you believe the things I do? And many people ask me why I don't want to report late. Well because I don't want (and don't know how) to fake out a parent's letter. Ya simple as that.

Anyway, something to lift my spirits. I think my wish may be coming true!! I was like hoping SHE will release their new album so that they can promote it when I go to Taiwan in December and with the release of their new song, I sure hope I can catch them in Taiwan. Yeah!!! Really looking forward to that trip. And found out that my holiday schedule is fully packed, what with three chalets, the Taiwan trip and carolling, not to mention meetings to plan LEP Orientation 2005 and regular choir practices, whoa, it's going to be my most enriching holidays in my schooling life.

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:41 PM
-------------------------------

Simplicity

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

It really does the trick. As I was savouring the cup of Softee just now, feeling the chocolate ice-cream melt in my mouth, it suddenly dawned on me (or rather it always has but I am more greatly impacted this time) that enjoyment can be gained so easily like eating an ice-cream. And now I am once again listening to the Disney album. I think I have fallen in love with Celine Dion's voice. "Beauty and the Beast" is such a nice song, sort of brings back the memories when I went for Disney On-Ice Beauty and the Beast so many years back. Those unforgettable childhood years. The young and innocent me. (well I still am, just a bit more self-awareness) I like the song "Go the Distance" too. It's like so nice!!! Disney classics never seem to tire me out.

Ok well enough of Disney. But the longing to lead a simple life is burning more strongly than ever. I don't understand. I guess I am just tired. 累了。真的累了。Really miss those NP days when we go for training, then leave immediately for lunch or at times dinner. Nothing else to worry about. No planning. No responsibilites. Ok what's with the retrospection these days... I think these emotional feelings are softening me up. Must not yield too much to such a strong force that can pull me back. But well, I tell myself I still am myself. No doubt I changed quite alot. But then who doesn't?
是时候返璞归真了。

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:13 PM
-------------------------------

离-趣

Monday, October 25, 2004

琴声琤琤
萦纡于那峥嵘山峰
放荡乖张如楚狂人
却嫌唐突了那御手调羹
出山的本拟与世无争
却再度从老僧入定跃身
刀剑铮铮
且饮一杯
一切凶险单掌相接
在清啸中断了的弦
另一桩藕断丝连
的承诺兑现



Envoy of the Stars @ 9:37 PM
-------------------------------

Was will es doch des wunders noch

Saturday, October 23, 2004

What wondrous things have come to pass. The pictures shall talk.
http://starvadeforever.blogspot.com

Envoy of the Stars @ 2:03 PM
-------------------------------

Yesterday, Open House seems so far away...

Wow! It surely was an eventful day yesterday. I was so tired by the time I reached home I don't even have the energy to go online to blog, so I have procrastinated till today. Firstly, must say that I was quite glad that I was able to tell people more about LEP, especially when I saw a bunch of CHS guys who at least have a slight interest in the subject, as compared to my batch. Open House was more or less a success, especially when I see so many people turn up for the talk later at 2p.m. Hopefully, next year will see a further increase in the number of people joining our LEP family. Hmm I guess I really stretched myself to the maximum, what with the concurrent jobs of mending the Choir stall and helping to advertise HuangCheng.

Speaking of Huangcheng, I guess things are just so coincidental. 合久必分，分久必合。I can only say my affinity with Huangcheng has not ended, so I guess my plan to slack next year must be scraped. Actually, I never think it will work as planned anyway. With SYF, LEP elections and all, I will be thankful if I can even sit down and listen to some pleasant music (which I am doing now) or go watch a concert. Which I just did yesterday. Went to watch this concert performed by five German guys and must say I like their voices a lot. Although the first part was quite dull and I almost found myself in slumberland, partly from the fact that I have been talking and running around non-stop the whole day.

But not bad, I actually saw three groups of people interested in the three commitments I have. Firstly, although I couldnt go for HC performance yesterday and didnt wear the black T-shirt, I actually saw a few people who displayed a keen interest and haha, being me, I immediately seized the opportunity and well, with that tongue of mine, the rest is really negligible. Was at the choir stall from 11 to 12. One guy seemed quite interested and actually listened to me finish my small introduction of choir. Hmm that's a start. Hope we get good basses next year.

I guess I have been slacking a bit too much. I see so many people rushing their pw and I start to feel the pressure again. Ok, I shall make this last attempt. I guess the Taiwan Trip will be my motivation. Yeah! Just cant hide my excitement...

Envoy of the Stars @ 1:04 PM
-------------------------------

岔路

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

那交叉
曾看过的十字架
十指紧扣
为求心安的自我保佑
寻康庄
鞋底也感觉到温暖
足迹找到祖籍
回家乡

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:19 AM
-------------------------------

在那边

Monday, October 18, 2004

高速公路上
络绎不绝的车辆
引擎不停地响
车头灯还在闪
等待天亮
绿人已泛倦怠
天边彩霞弯下身去
才发现那长长的影子已渐行渐远

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:24 PM
-------------------------------

Refreshed

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Hmm firstly for the past few days, I would really really really (to the power of infinity) like to thank all those people who have offered concerns over my well-being, believing me to be under tremendous stress and tension. But I would just like to give these wonderful people full assurance that I have not fallen, nor have I broken into pieces. Incompetent I may be, Starvade will not be easily overwhelmed and subjucated by just a couple of blows. As long as I see that strand of hope, I will cling onto it. Even if that beacon dies off, I will create a ray light by myself. So guys, don't worry. I am one of those kind of 遇强则强 type of person.

I have learnt to derive great pleasure and contentment from simple things I do, like listening to music. In fact, I am listening to Disney's Soundtrack as I write. Sort of returns me to the carefree, innocent childhood days. That's what I like about Disney, it uncovers the child in everyone.

Choir recruitment camp was quite fun. I can't imagine they actually made me group leader!!! I was like torn between crying and laughing when I received that message. But it turned out quite well. Although only three guys turned up amidst the horde of SCGS, NYGH and St Nicks girls, I am quite pleased to say that I mingled quite well with the guys, because two of them are in my group. Hopefully, they can join HC choir because I think one of them who is a Bass 2 in RV is really quite good. The other guy from CHS was later found out, through a voice range check, to be a Tenor so well didnt have sectionals with him joining us. On the whole it was quite good. I will not comment anything on the girls who came today. Haha. However saw a few who can make the cut. But, but, but, hold your horses before you start jumping, I feel nothing. So too bad, the search continues. Haha but I must say Choir people really rock. Went out for dinner with a few of them and we were like singing (quite softly though) outside the Yoshinoya in Taka while waiting for seats. Enjoyed this kind of casual singing very much. Feel like going KTV!!! They called me to go twice but twice I couldnt go because of pre-planned gatherings with my other friends. Never mind, there's always a next-time, hopefully. Looking forward to Open House!!

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:02 PM
-------------------------------

Confession

Friday, October 15, 2004

I must make an honest confession. I must make it clear that I am not pinpointing anyone in my last entry. I was well, just feeling pissed. Pissed at myself. My incompetence. My ineffectiveness. My atrocious habit of procrastination when it comes to executing well-planned things. My ineptitude. My failure to recognise my shortcomings. My tendency to overlook blind spots and avoiding things when I know they are inevitable.

I really don't have anything against anyone. If there is, it will have to be me. I am quite upset with myself. These days I have learnt to reflect on myself first before taking it out on others. It had took me quite some time to do this I must admit. In fact, it took 17 long years and I am still learning. This is NOT because I am noble, caring whatsoever, more of the fact that I don't like to take the easy way out all the time and deceive myself by pushing the blame to someone or something and just wriggle out of that uncomfortable situation.

I won't hide the fact that I was momentarily displeased with the cooperation level of LEP people. But the moment I showed my displeasure it was immediately ceased by a sardonic smirk emitting from somewhere within the confinements of my mind. It was chiding me for finding a scapegoat that I can push the blame to. So I have lost. Lost to my own emotions that have clouded my vision and messed up my moves. I have actually taken to hiding. Bowed down to the very thing I despise. Haha. How smart.

I am NOT a leader. Perhaps I was never one. I don't know. In the case of sounding politically correct, I must risk it by saying that I am a learner. With the LEP room all set with the new look, (hmm some seniors said it looks really cosy, I hope) it will be a new start. Thank you those who came down to sit around, warm up the place and those who helped out with the open house preparations. Looking forward to tomorrow's Choir recruitment camp. Heard there are like 30+ girls and only 5 boys. Erpz...

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:10 PM
-------------------------------

Revamping

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Oh so the one-week of revamping has slowly passed. I really must thank those people who have helped out in one way or another, those who were busy doing the barcodes for the library, those who helped out with the spring-cleaning, those who decorated the boards and yes, most of all, I must take this brilliant opportunity to thank those who added some flavour to the whole event by issuing some "beautiful" remarks.

Seriously I really think we (lep club) should go home and reflect on ourselves. Let's see, we are trying to instill a new order and corrupt the present system. We have daringly exploited our fellow LEP mates by collecting huge sums of money that no purpose is stated although two stacks of notes have appeared out of nowhere in each person's pigeon hole. Whoa! So nobody enquired why there were miraculous notes found in pigeon holes but there is full-to-bursting inquisition with regards to why we collect money at such high frequency that amounts to like twice to thrice per year. Incredulous! Yeah so we have tried to embezzle LEP funds and divert them to our own pockets. We have involved so many busy people, who would otherwise be able to spend their time wisely by sleeping at home or paying a routine trip to town, or even stealing time of their meticulously planned slacking schedule, in mindless plans that totally serve no purpose. Here I would like to offer my deepest, heartfelt apologies to those who feel that we have in one way or another, made use of all the innocent people in LEP, to achieve our ends and fulfill our evil scheme. I will see to it that we will pay dearly for our selfish and audacious acts that would undermine and compromise LEP welfare. Sorry to those innocent people who just got ripped off so badly.

改良改良，越改越凉啊！

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:31 PM
-------------------------------

慢—吾目的

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

当我无心在讥讽疾风中穿梭
如行尸走肉
暖和的阳光不再温柔
自我尊重权利也被褫夺
真相一头栽入《镜花缘》中摸索
问我何必如此苦苦执着
目光开始微弱
连蚂蚁都可怜我
嘲笑我拱手太多
却也只能坐在墙角演独角戏堕落
还谎称是呈现伟大佳作
你嘴角动了动想说些什么
却只一味退缩
连垃圾桶都看不过
人海中漂泊
只能做
一辈子的自由岛国

Envoy of the Stars @ 1:43 PM
-------------------------------

镜中花

Monday, October 11, 2004

山崖上的世外仙草
听说千年以来难的一见
因吸天地灵气取玉之甘露而脱胎出生
百病皆可根治
起死回生延年益以圆痴人梦
闻者四面八方蜂拥而至
为争此草杀戮浴血
血
花
飞
溅
那争妍斗丽的艳
幻化成赤翅蝴蝶漫天飞舞
迎风扑向仙草嬉戏
平白无辜成为祭品
鲜红
倒映着天边长虹
慢慢地仙草绽开迷人微笑
从平滑如镜的山壁上依稀能看到它的清香更胜从前

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:40 PM
-------------------------------

A thought too bothering

This feeling just stirred up within my mind when I was lying in bed yesterday. It was not the first time I have experienced such an emotional crash-landing, especially during these few days when I had more time to think about what I had done in the past year. It just hit me. This. I must say there were similar occasions when this thought was so provocative and possibly offensive that I was almost driven to anger. Not that I am a very emotional and sentimental person but I admit I just have that tinge of over-sensitive reaction to things, even minor details.

Well it was just the thought of Huang Cheng. Not surprising right? I thought it wasn't, considering the fact that I spent the most time in my past year preparing for something that I had absolutely no idea but gradually develop such a burning passion and love for. Ya it just suddenly struck my mind, intercepting the arrival of all the other train of thoughts. It just sort of raised the "High Priority" signboard, seeking for immediate attention. And obviously it succeeded. I just wished it hadnt. It turned out apart from thinking about how marvellous, memorable, unforgettable and bodacious those glorious moments were, the ones when we were standing confidently on stage presenting the one hour long show put together through hours and hours of hard work, there followed a trail of dark thoughts that had come back to haunt me in their wake. Yes. Those things I had tried to avoid thinking of. Those painful dilemmas I had been put through and which I presumed had been buried have risen from the dead to terrorise me. It was simply wishful thinking on my part that I had exorcised these disturbing and unhappy thoughts. But I realised, on several occasions, like yesterday, that the old wound had not been healed at all. It had just been forcefully covered up when in actual fact, it had left a gaping hole behind this false pretence.

Ever since I left Huang Cheng after the end of the performance, I had sort of lost connection with this network of friends, except for the few that I have come to know and I am really grateful for that. The lowering of the curtains actually signalled more than the fact that Huang Cheng 2004 has officially ended... Three months of cooperation and hard-earned friendships merely existed in that dream we had weaved together.
黄城一场黄梁梦
破碎之后梦醒空

Maybe this is just the feeling I get. Since I had officially been declared (or rather I self-declare) myself an inactive member of Chinese Society, (where Huangcheng comes from) I just feel subsequently detached from the activity that I had really manifested and invested my time and soul in. “我把生平最兴奋的情绪都付给了它。"
Sounds familiar? If not please read up on Huang Chun Ming's 《儿子的大玩偶》。Ya but so what? Please pardon my directness but I find myself being subjected to all kind of criticisms ever since I left to join some other CCAs, comments that can be hurting, ridiculous and well, to put it curtly, raise my blood pressure. Things like "Aiyah you have left Huang Cheng already. You don't need to care already what." and " Aiyah, nothing big lah. None of your business." I am clear of my position now. I am neither in the exco nor am I in any way related to Huang Cheng as of now and I am not wanting to want to force some "military secrets" out of those would-be directors next year, but I will really appreciate just a bit of concern for the voluntary and sincere care I am just trying to show. To be frank, I never considered myself a Chinese Society member anyway. Just a Huang Cheng member. So please to all those who only care for the physical presence of "current" huangcheng members and totally ignore the emotional strings attached, may the force be with you, because you clearly lack it. I once hear someone say this sentence, "Once a HuangCheng member, always a Huangcheng member", maybe the term action speaks louder than words don't hold in a drama production circle...

And for those who find this entry offensive in any manner, I offer you my deepest apologises but sorry, I am really not forcing anyone to read it anyway.

Envoy of the Stars @ 4:05 PM
-------------------------------

无题

Saturday, October 09, 2004

你叫我使用暴力
我微笑不语
你揍了我一拳叫我别再抗拒
我坚持到底
你踢了我l两脚企图诱我还击
我并没中计
你大声狂喊以声量淹没威逼
我洗耳恭听
你说要对我不客气
我转身离去
拳头硬
只因心头虚
才以外表强硬
粉饰脆弱太平
请继续沉迷
我会施舍同情


Envoy of the Stars @ 5:37 PM
-------------------------------

Apocalyse

Yupz just been to watch Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse. Was planning to watch "New Police Story" but zhehan persuaded me to go for the former instead because of the earlier time slot available. So it is another guy outing today, just like any other one that I had experienced for the past four years.

Anyway about the movie, I think it really offers deep thinking. Well I know it is just about bloodthirsty undead walking along the streets preying on innocent citizens, who will unfortunately be unable to escape from the scourge in the end. It is really sadistic and perverse, especially when you see a horde of mutated creatures with blood seeping down the side of their lips beckoning towards a helpless person putting up a final struggle by shooting his little pistol. A futile fight. Once he used up the clip you see images of the group of encircling him and well, literally feeding on him. So well ya it is blood and gore on the whole. Not a pretty sight. But hey I think it sort of can be used to illustrate the humanitarian rights in real life. Those poor people in the movie are like dispensable to the almight Umberalla Corporation since they are just well specimens used to experiment highly dangerous bioweapons. Lives are as cheap as dirt in the movie and well, I cant help think that if someone like Hitler rises to power these days, I guess it is really Apocalypse for the world.

So anyway enough of the movie details before it makes some of you sick. But I must say that now that the exams are over there is like so much time in the world... There is like such a striking distinction from last week. Guess this is life, at least we dont have cold-blooded and ruthless organisations making use of us as mere specimens for experiments... Haiz... is the advoacy for science another big mistake that will backfire? Good luck my dear science mates...

Envoy of the Stars @ 4:59 PM
-------------------------------

Hmmpf...

Friday, October 08, 2004

I have a million thoughts running through my mind at this very second. Just a few hours ago, back when I was doing that disgustingly outrageous LEP paper, I recall that I was thinking at a rate of 10 thoughts/points a second. The mind was working with such fervour and speed that there was a communication breakdown with my hands. It is like thoughs were flashing and streaking across like meteorites (pardon me for the lousy example) but this only serve to amplify the agony and affliction I am being put through now and just now. It is not a nice feeling when you suddenly come across such a brilliant point you thought you were a genius and then suddenly, it just cunningly performs a disappearing act and hides in a corner in your brain. You are fully aware that it is lurking somewhere in that vastness emptiness up there in an unknown region and you also know that you can retrieve it only if you can stop and think (and I mean think clearly, with the emphasis on clearly obviously) carefully then maybe you can "recover a lost document" and strike gold.

But wait. Have you not forgotten that there is something called time. Ah.. now here is the fun part, dripping with the irony of life. I have all the time in the world now to write this entry but at that point in time, I didnt even have time to breathe and feel my fingers threatening to complain to the customised trade union because their welfare is not well look after. Ok the point is I find that my hands could not keep up with my mind that is working like clockwork. Ineffective hand-brain coordination, an internal disEOS so too bad. I just feel my mind buzzing non-stop and I wonder how many brain cells I have killed just to force hours of memorising and internalising into three hours of paper. haha 写了几千多字，都是空话！

Anyway, I didnt feel the relief from exams as predicted. (I mean I was expecting I am going to be tremendously relieved) I attribute this unusual behaviour as a side-effect of overly strenuous utilisation of the brain in writing mindless essays that I dont even think serve a purpose. Well maybe just the grade. Oh my! What did I just say. I have just undergone backward integration by downgrading myself to the level to only keep in mind meer numbers. Haiz... must reflect on this. Please excuse me, I shall take my leave to repent.

Envoy of the Stars @ 10:23 PM
-------------------------------

Memories memories memories

They keep catching my unawares, infiltrating my base and raiding everything so much so that they leave behind the remnants in a chaotic after destroying everything in a berserker's rage. Yesterday, I was like flipping throught my photo album and I just feel that pang of sorrow and that tinge of longing for the past. Not that I have studied too much 冬夜 or something but seriously, I just felt a strong feeling to revert to the past. Go back! Go back! The soft melody of Jay Chow's 回到过去 flooding my ears, with the volume increasing each time.

A sudden gush of nostalgia
coursing through my veins like lethal poison
The adrenaline rush of a long past euphoria
and what is left of the mangled remains of this season
If I could
capture the essence of that moment
I would
choose not to enslave myself in the reminiscence of the vaguely forgotten
For to lie fallen and impaled
By the blunt dagger that has learnt to kill
The one that has promised to heal
turned the tables and tore up the deal
Rampaging the desolate place
One that has once occupied such a huge space
The citadel sent out a red herring before it is breached
but it is a myth if the news ever reach
For the king has downed the glass sizzling in its wake
before the last ripples die off on the calm lake

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:41 PM
-------------------------------

无题

根本懒得想题
精力渗出眼皮
脑已提出抗议
停止这场游戏
玩腻
逃避
不解为何要与你演对手戏
我承认我的孤僻
但时间都未挂虑
你又为何要为我哭泣
人往往因不懂而害怕
也常常因了解而浮夸
但不懂而惶恐
彷徨中
装懂
坚定说了声
我以想通

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:04 PM
-------------------------------

你-我-他

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

我不是君子 却不夺人所好
我不是圣人 却不望自尊大
我不是贤者 却不为非作歹
我是什么
我也不知
但在小人于君子间
我选择当个的浪子
游
戏
人
间

Envoy of the Stars @ 5:48 PM
-------------------------------

半杯水

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

被贬谪的仙人
降临人间
是
早来临的春天
还是
断了链的秋千
对不起
没选则

人生本就没有完美的绝对
满不满 心满满
快乐不再存进扑满
而是转放记忆银行
当落叶也会散发梅花香
死水碧波荡漾
并非蒙起眼睛装瞎
而是漠视外在的盲
我穿过南北大江
沿途花鸟向我微笑
简单的快乐不复杂
不蒸发
美丽的负担不沉重
就足够
挣脱了犯下的罪
水 只剩半杯

Envoy of the Stars @ 5:20 PM
-------------------------------

疯

Monday, October 04, 2004

疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯
你脸上藏不住的讥诮在蔓延
眼中闪烁不定的残忍已出现
疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯
最原始的罪恶感冲破防守线
可嗅出那野狼对血腥的垂涎
疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯疯
狂笑声中虚伪的说声真可怜
丢上几分铜钱奖赏他的疯癫
口中仍旧自言自语念个不绝
直到走远
才听见那笑声
回荡耳边

Envoy of the Stars @ 3:00 PM
-------------------------------

为何？Why?

Friday, October 01, 2004

造化弄人
弄得人麻木不仁
不得不承认
满纸空文
埋葬在一座荒坟
野花也降温

Envoy of the Stars @ 1:09 PM
-------------------------------