Avalon

On this week...

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Basically, I whiled through the week and hardly remembered how I actually survived the seemingly endless sessions of GP and Econs. It has become somewhat of a bore, especially when you are clinging onto that shred of hope for dear life wishing that somehow you will encounter a turning point in the subject you intend on giving up on. But it is antagonising to feel like a failure. When it is hard to get stuff jammed tight into that brain, when you can pull out every single strand of hair and still be at a loss as to how to solve a particularly tough maths question, or when you totally cannot think straight when writing AQ.

Then of course there were three continuous days of choir. Tiring but quite fulfilling. Especially when I come to know that many of the juniors in 05A12 were interested in going for Choir Auditions. My mortal, for one, wanted so much to get into choir and Yi Meng's mortal actually cried when she found out she did not get past the first round of auditions. I felt so helpless. I could not help them in any way, but they have so much passion, so much interest. A wave of guilt struck me firmly in the chest. How many times have I been slightly unhappy with the choir time schedules when there are people who break down on hearing they cannot enter the choir doorstep. I told Yi Meng to go console his mortal and I think I will have to do the same because I didn't see my mortal's name on the list of shortlisted j1s. Then, Mavis said her mortal told her in a letter that she thinks "Choir is a much better CCA than Huangcheng." That made me speechless again. I don't know whether that remark stung more than it encouraged me. But it hit on that soft spot. Sparked off that dilemma in me once again. And as though this was not enough, fate chose to pose me an additional challenge by having both the Huangcheng and Choir stalls positioned face to face during CCA Openhouse. So while I could laugh it off and make jokes about it in front of people, I really was forcing a smile on my face. Anyway, I managed to pull more people into the backstage crew but I found it difficult to get the guys to join choir. I was on the verge of throwing my hands up in despair but luckily when I got back to AVT, I saw a bunch of CHS guys waiting to be auditioned. While it is rather unhealthy to have the Bass and Tenor sections made up by purely CHS guys, I consoled myself that it is at least better than having no juniors at all... But it is worrying to hear from my choir friends that most of the guys have an untrained voice and can only pitch averagely.

Then LEP orientation was carried out rather smoothly. Really thanked the J2s who came for helping out. And although the Wargame was really a flop, I think on the average the J1s enjoyed themselves. Hope they really get to know each other well. That would be satisfying enough for me.

Envoy of the Stars @ 6:13 PM
-------------------------------