Avalon

I remember....

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

That same feeling of emptiness squirming somewhere in my heart at this time last year. So it has inhabited that spot where it had gotten into hiding until now when it had found the chance to spring out and catch me unawares again.

Yes. I didnt cry, again, during Huang Cheng this year. That was just a few days ago and the fresh trails of tears still seem vaguely visible on some people's faces. But I must say it's not because I didn't feel anything. I felt, but it was a warmth that had not subsided even until today, when the air conditioners in the classrooms seem to be bent on vengeance for neglecting them over the holidays. I finally answered my question: it was not the amount of effort I put in that decides the amount of emotions I will display. It is just I felt that the warmth and zeal, the passion and the fervour. It was that moment that I would want to capture and embalm forever. But that feeling was only a reward,commemorating the satisfying accomplishment of such a magnificent feat. Probably some may never know why we can cry over some props, get so worked up over some seemingly insignificant stuff, or get so "high" to the point of becoming hysterical just by whispering the two magical words or humming the song that will forever be imbued in our souls, something that a change of school name or a switching of crest cannot take away. It rightfully belongs to all of us, not just our batch but the many batches before, and the future batches who would still remember this. To those people who thought we were a bunch of crazy lunatics or all-time losers, thank you because we at least know something that you will never know.

All the emotions are swimming across my mind. When I was doing my GP paper, my mind was replaying Xie Mu from the start to the end, over and over. I did experience more emotions than last year, probably because I know I won't have another chance to recover this feeling again. Probably because I finally knew how to treasure things. Probably because I am experiencing a double dose of PHD. The seniors were kind enough to remind me how crazy I am, involving myself in three CCAs. Thanks guys! Thanks for those encouragement. But I can proudly say I never regretted my choice to come back to help out. Cui Chang rocks!!! I never would have got to know so many HC people, I wouldn't have got to feel the texture of the stage curtains, I wouldn't have got to appreciate how difficult it is to order food, I wouldn't have got to... Above all, I would have hated myself for not giving myself the chance to participate in HC again. I didn't thank alot of people yet. But here, must thank Dao Ju. U guys really rock!! Had so much fun talking to you people. Xing Zheng! We might not get together alot but we stand united! To all the other groups, really enjoyed going to chase you people to Xie Mu or to go home. And lastly, to Jias and Soon Kiat, you two can rest assured now cos now everyone knows that HC is not only about quantity (number of people) but quality. And you are the best zong jians we can ever get. Always so patient, nice but still mangages to get things done! Take a good rest.

To all who were kind enought to give flowers, thanks alot. Stayover was really tiring, especially when I was soooo dreary and ready to knock off anytime. But it was fun! Wont forget that. I made a pact with the seniors to go watch HC next year if I can make it. (Army days are beckoning)This is the fantasy that we have created. House curtains open. Spotlight go. Sound go. Let this accompany us in our sleep.

我在空旷的台上，幕落的那刻，你问我为什么不失落，
我说
因为
有你陪我
____________________________________________________
已经入戏太深
现实与幻境哪个比较真
怎么分
我打算就这样
乱
下
去
继续...
____________________________________________________
半杯水的台词
萦绕在我脑际
挥之不去
一年了
原来我不曾失去
____________________________________________________
黄城的美不在它的辉煌
而在你用生命
为它着上永远不退色的衣装
____________________________________________________
我从不知道我可以走来走去
来来回回
不知道累
直到你告诉了我
原来我是站得住脚的

Envoy of the Stars @ 4:45 PM
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