Avalon

话当年

Friday, April 22, 2005

Noticed I have been ranting on and off about how tired and exhausted I have been for many past entries. But the truth is sometimes I find it so "unlike me" to be so involved in CCA. Remembered the good old days (pardon my over-utilisation of this term) back in Np, when I would just laze around and 'float' and glide here and there from one place to another (CHS is so big after all so can waste more time) during training, taking self-initiated short breaks in between sessions of drill and campcraft. This has become like the normal training schedule, replacing the gruelling one we had been put through from sec 1-3, a few of us would just scrounge around, just to fritter away our time. Such a waste of youth. Yet those were most memorable times. Thinking back, I remember n0thing about falling in under the hot sun enduring the sweltering heat and the equally acrid and caustic reprimanding from the high authorities, or doing push-ups on the steps of the tower block at noon time, when the BLACK, iron-hot steps are at its all-time high temperature of the day.

Nevertheless that was a carefree me. One who doesn't care about anything except my friends and myself. The "future of CHS NPCC", the ranks of Staff-sergeant, SI, CI... everything affiliated to CCA are never of my concern. But now, I can't even help thinking if I am being punished for my ignorance and stoicism. Paying back in full for all the things I have done, or rather not done, in sweat and blood.

Was arranging all the 文物 in LEP room, after Karpoh managed to recover many of the long lost items from his personal metal cabinet (or treasure trove according to him). 看到他如获至宝，如数家珍地拿出一件件历届治理会的衣服、一本本历年台湾和中国浸濡团的通讯录册子、几樽有象征性的大奖杯，一脸兴奋的样子，我真的不知道怎么拒绝他。拼命的抓住华初（是的是华初，只有华初...）语特的昔日风光，重拾华苑文林以往繁华昌盛景象的碎片，给我的感觉，好《冬夜》。我是麻木了的吴柱国。只能在翻看学长学姐留下的情感交流册子中、挖出埋葬在铁柜子已久了的纪念牌、LEP刊物，东西是死的，情感却活着，一直传到今天。不知不觉地被感动了...

我们是不该活在回忆里的，但偶尔在知道过去后，我们才会更珍惜现有的一切。华初语特给我们的可能不多，但我们给它的有多少？

Envoy of the Stars @ 9:07 PM
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