Avalon

A look back once in a while

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I can feel it. My head spinning into oblivion, my heart delving into darkness. I move like an empty shell. The mind is calling out for more rest, having been overworked and underpaid for such a long time. Nothing seems to appeal to my interest now. Nothing. This indifference to life is unsettling. ‘也无风雨也无晴。’无晴是否也无情。

Another year flied past again. Last year we dread going back to school after CNY, but we dread the same things. Now, we have different things to dread, different minds to put in place, different directions to set out for and different day to plan for one day after our occasional gathering.

I look at my nephews and I feel the tinge of sadness welling inside me and I hear their laughter mocking me. We claim to know more, to have seen more, to have learnt more, but do we really want to have more of all those? Are we ever more carefree than those little ones?

Another week in army has taught me alot more. Responsibility has taken on a new definition. How ready am I to take on different responsibilities? That I am still searching for an answer, one I will probably be looking for in the rest of my life. But for now, I shall let my mind rest. Sleeping is my form of therapy.

Envoy of the Stars @ 12:28 AM
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