Avalon

正面冲击

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Tough times lie ahead, at least for the next 6 months. Confinement looms nearer and I will be burning the next 2 weekends washing and painting vehicles, set for the exercise at Wallaby in the upcoming november.

Surprisingly, the news was a stab in the heart, but it was not critical. Maybe the numbing effect does sink in after a while. Or maybe, I have really become more adaptable.

It has really become useless crying out to the heavens when they can't even hear you. Or maybe they can but they can't do anything about it. No matter how many times you get picked up and dropped down, pretty literally, it still boils down to whether you will live through that ordeal. While it's obviously easier to live through times of luxury than times of difficulties, it's comforting, even if there is the unavoidable presence of self-deception, to say that at least you live an exciting life. Aren't roller coaster rides fun because it goes up and down. Ok, maybe some people like monorails.

And so I continue to live in self-delusion.

And I am finding my seat belt too. I am, after all, going to command a vehicle and sit alongside a driver who has just graduated from driving school.

But I am confident. I just hope he will be.

“故天将降大任于斯人也,必先苦其心志,劳其筋骨,饿其体肤,空乏其身,行拂乱其所为,所以动心忍性,增益其所不能。”

Envoy of the Stars @ 2:06 AM
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