Avalon

The beginning is the end

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Made it back. Finally. 3 weeks seem so long, yet a glance back told me there's no specific day by day details left in my head by now. Many things have probably happened in my absence. But whatever it is, the sky is still blue, at least on sunny days when the rain clouds take a break.

Before I begin, must comment on a movie I watched on the plane. (Some things never change. Going away doesn't stop me from catching good films) This quote from "Little Miss Sunshine" goes something like this. "Life is just one beauty contest after another. F%$ the people who judge us. So just do what you want, pursue your dreams and f%^& the rest."

The job as a whole was, well, relatively routine. It's just something to do with my job scope, actually. It's hard to explain what I do and even if it is explicable, I won't do it either. But let's just say, I do something like reporting 4D numbers, literally, over the phone whenever other people need to check for things. Ya so imagine the same process repeating over and over again, 24/7 around the clock.

But the weather in kangarooland was definitely a bit irksome, with a relatively high diurnal range. (Whoo geogers check this out! I remember my stuff... lol) Day time temperatures are high enough to roast and toast me, while night time temperatures just leave you freezing. Not to mention you literally bite the dust whether it's day or night. As for the aftermath, well we worked throughout the night when we ended, packing the crates immediately and therefore this whole week was extremely slack for me. Just eat, sleep, go canteen eat, use the computers when available, walk about camp, sleep and the last few days were rest and recreation. I mean I was checking up on Carl Jung at wikipedia when other people were hogging the computers looking up friendster and female pictures... So you can tell how boring those few days were.

无聊时最容易用想来打发时间。那两星期，还是触动了些沉寂的诗情。

情.殇

一弯新月，弧度清脆

勾起尘封的憔悴

扑不灭的蝴蝶穿插在记忆杂草丛中乱飞

我自觉已然有点醉

被西风吹着摇曳 ——

思念的不悔

风沙扬起割开视线

支离破碎和你那段缘

少年愁不是滋味偏偏倔强爱回味

一杯饮不完的离别

衣角几时沾了伤悲身边位子留给谁

难道星星学会催眠将残酷粉饰完美

不要随便说无所谓却原来口是心非

把成全书在最后一页再白手长叹

情苦著成的经典

默然凭吊往事的墓碑

眼前泛黄笑靥

曾经沧海难为

今夜

凉

如

水

不追随你的蹙眉

换不回

黄昏段

斜影依故我

夕阳顾他人

谁园开紫嫣

枫落一身秋

夜的叶

黑夜降临把理智完全遮蔽

悄悄猜出我的心情

阴晴不定仿佛月亮的身影

只到十五才太过分明

伤口到底是痊愈还是已被藏起

连摆脱寂寞跟踪都无力

以往靠近并没多么靠近

暧昧毕竟也是差距

思念像满地落叶被吹起

一阵翻滚过后就回到了死寂

扫除得不干净微光低头叹着伶仃

露水已弹破了几滴溅湿被抽空的去年冬季

一年了。酸楚甜蜜也会化去。化为一肚不知所谓。有人说一切顺其自然吧。这也是我告诉当兵朋友的一句话。他给我的回答很妙。

“我已经自然了二十年了。”

对于情，每个人的追求不同。但无疑，很多人都被伤过。要释怀谈何容易。那几天在荒野的月夜长谈，让我了解别人的世界是如何的。在我和一部分的你们眼中，那是个陌生的世界，有点扭曲，有点分不清肉体与情感，你甚至会说它很荒淫。但我相信了，我怎么想不重要，因为活在那个世界的不是我。他何尝不是伤心人。他何尝不知道他做的不一定对。但人总是有沉沦的时候。所以我只是说：“不要沉太久。希望你赶快找到你的希望。”

看到一个室友在怂恿下抽了第一口烟，然后第二、三、四、五... ... 还好没在继续，至少我们没再看到。心里面一直挣扎，因为劝了、讲了，但始终觉得很无助。幸亏他有听。但我还是记得我在那似醉非醉的晚餐后，酒气颇重，语气平和地跟他说了那句"No matter what, we will stand by you. But can you promise us you will not smoke, cos we care."

三个星期。有狂过、醉过、清醒过, 但没有错过。足够。

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:54 PM
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