Avalon

Randomness

Monday, May 04, 2009

Sometimes it seems like actions in our lives run like a pre-written computer programme, taking place in a particular time and space, with mild fluctuations and substitutable variables to alter the patterns that work within a system. All this repetition leads to configuration of rituals in daily life, when we eventually grow so accustomed to it such that this repetition unconsciously acquires a form of meaning. Sitting in the exact same position, wearing that similar blank expression, reading a bundle of text that appears to match the representation in one's memory some time ago and experiencing that jolt of deja vu coarsing through your nerves as one recounts this sense of familiarity.

Then I wonder to myself how to add that drop of randomness into this string of seemingly systematic, coherent chain of actions that make up these daily rituals.

The other night, I suddenly got up on my feet and decided to go downstairs on a whim, leaving the house to take a stroll when it was 11pm. I am sure all at home believed I could not have chosen a better time indeed. I did a fair bit of moon-gazing although it was not like I wanted to, nor was I against it. It was only a half moon. I paced around the vicinity of my house, entrusting the destination to my legs, while my mind was afloat. Like William Wordsworth said, "I wandered lonely as a cloud" and welcomed the bliss of solitude.

My idea of public solitude, where I am in my world but this solitude is shared in the eyes of the public. And then the wind trails, as "my heart with pleasure fills".

Envoy of the Stars @ 11:36 PM
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